


He's Not Stupid

by OuzoAthena11



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Clint Barton Is a Good Bro, Pietro Maximoff Lives, Post-Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie), Protective Laura Barton, Rhodey Is a Good Bro, Tony Has Issues, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-28
Updated: 2017-03-02
Packaged: 2018-09-12 19:04:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 28,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9085849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OuzoAthena11/pseuds/OuzoAthena11
Summary: Tony doesn't like showing weakness, so he secretly employed a therapist to help him, one that he was fairly certain would keep his secret. And that's how things start changing. He has someone to confide in, he's more aware of his own emotions and thoughts, and really, even he had to notice something was wrong with him when he created Ultron. He just didn't know that Wanda's weird magic was involved. But his therapist is there to help him through all of that.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A lot of the beginning seems a bit disjointed. That's on purpose. It's just an expression of Tony's thoughts and emotions expressed via third person.

Contrary to popular belief, Tony was not stupid. Everyone believed that despite his genius when it came to anything science related, in practically all other matters he was stupid. Even Pepper often treated him more like a kid who needed babysitting than a man who just got lost in what he was doing... or let PTSD and anxiety drive his creating to exhaustion, but it wasn't like anyone cared about why he did things the way he did. What mattered was he did them at all. The only person who ever truly looked past his mannerisms to look deeper was Rhodey, and that almost didn't count because Rhodey knew Tony before he got most of his walls up and perfected his way of redirecting people with sarcasm and narcissism.

 

Tony may have perfectly normal, human fits of emotion that left him prone to making terrible decisions, but he was not stupid. He was a genius after all. That was why he'd been able to build an arc reactor out of missiles when he was stuck in a cave with a car battery attached to his chest. It wasn't even any arc reactor, it was a miniaturized one that hadn't even been thought theoretically possible before he did it. The only reason he hadn't been able to replace the palladium with a new element before Fury got involved was he let his emotions get in the way of it. Not to mention, he was tired of well everything.

 

He'd known he'd have a lot of work to try to fix his reputation and to make up for all of his mistakes when he got back from Afghanistan, but he thought it would be easier. He tried not to drink so heavily, nor as often. He couldn't pilot the suit drunk, he'd been smart enough to have Jarvis put a lock on it if his blood alcohol levels were high enough even. But he also couldn't not be available if he was needed, which led to him drinking less and less overall simply for that reason. He'd tried to turn the company around, converted all contracts with the military to defense and medical contracts. He even met with the R&D department a few times in order to get them on the right track, showing them that they didn't need to rely on weapons anymore. So, on the whole, he'd cleaned up his act. Didn't go partying like he used to, didn't sleep around like he used to, and saved people on a regular basis. But the media still reported him like he was carrying on like he was used to, just with added reports of how he was Iron Man now too.

 

Even before he'd realized the palladium from the reactor was ironically killing him, just much slower than the shrapnel would be, he'd wondered what would happen if he'd died. He came to the conclusion that the world might be better off without his genius. His inventions tended to be lightyears ahead of where technology actually was, and some of them so far out there, he wondered if he should even introduce it to people yet. Smartphones took several years to take off after all, and that was with his technology being so much better than the competition. So did the world even need him? Once the weapons Stark Industries had made were gone, did the world even need Iron Man?

 

So when he realized he was dying, he came up with several plans, one of which involved Jarvis allowing him to use the suit while drunk at his birthday party (why not just give into the view people held of him while he was dying anyways?) just so he could get Rhodey a suit so the world would still have something like Iron Man. If he'd outright tried to give it to Rhodey it'd send off way more warning bells in Rhodey's mind than letting him get the suit while drunk. Things were strained since Tony's decision to cut off weapons production, but it was more due to the stress Rhodey's superiors were putting on him than him actually genuinely being angry with Tony, but it did mean they weren't quite as close. It made Tony relieved because it meant that it'd be easier on Rhodey when he died.

 

But of course Fury had to go and make things difficult. And then he kicked himself when he realized that he was so tired of trying to better himself in the eyes of a public who would always see him as a playboy he was willing to accept his death without trying as hard as he could. Because he certainly did not need to see a message from his father to figure it out. He could've done without it. His father was not a good one and he preferred to pretend he did not exist, so it irked him that it took that to figure out what he needed to do. Never again.

 

As if that wasn't bad enough, a year later he was called to be an Avenger- something he was not recommended for. He still snorted at the report. Iron Man yes, Tony Stark not recommended? Fuck them. Iron Man was nothing without him. Iron Man was who he was, it was the part of him who did the most to atone for his sins, the public figure of his attempts, even as he quietly created more charities to deal with his messes, and messes of possible Avengers (who probably would all have superpowers and be real superheroes), charities to help refugees, and charities to help the injured. He made sure to regularly donate to them and would submit places he thought they should go when he found needy areas or a place was demolished. He still wasn't sure how a town in New Mexico ended up on the list, but it sounded like it helped. But did the media care about it? No, of course not. So the general public didn't even know.

 

He could admit he was volatile. His issues had issues, after all. He was already messed up from his childhood of being ignored and pushed too hard in turns. He had such a huge mountain to climb, and it was never enough for his father even before his father realized how brilliant he really was. And if that wasn't enough, then he had to go and get PTSD on top of that when he was kidnapped. Of course he was volatile. He needed a good therapist, but none passed any of the criteria. Not that he really tried all that hard- as long as the people around him didn't push him towards it he wasn't putting much of an effort towards it. After all, they should notice how messed up he was, and if they thought he couldn't handle it, they would tell him to get help. And that hadn't happened. To be fair, with War Machine, Rhodey wasn't available as much because Tony was fairly certain the man would have words for him otherwise, but other than that... He was trying to date Pepper, putting his best effort into it despite his tendency to get caught up in projects or needing to invent something, anything to help with whatever nightmare was the flavor of the week.

 

Self obsessed? That was only the impression he gave off. And he didn't even intentionally give it off sometimes. He was well aware of his genius, and it often frustrated him that he couldn't find someone who could keep up with him aside from Rhodey (and that was only occasionally and when the man had patience). So what if his ramblings tended to see self centered because of that. It's not like anyone cared enough to realize that it was a big bluff. Which conveniently led to the other comment.

 

Doesn't play well with others. Tony questioned the ability of the person who did the evaluation- he had a sneaking suspicion it was that pretty redheaded PA, who ended up joinng the Avengers. That was just a mask. His sarcasm and jibes were his defense at times, at least when it was really bad. How could he 'play well with others' if he didn't trust them? He didn't trust easily, especially after Obie's betrayal. Not that anyone really cared about reasons why when he officially joined the team to help take down an alien. And said alien's army. How was that even real? Anyways, they didn't try to see past the masks, past the sarcasm. They got along decently enough, but in the end, they didn't really know him.

 

Well, he didn't need them either. Of course that led to him being stupid about the Mandarin in the height of emotion- why the hell had he ever thought sharing the address he'd always kept very secret as a taunt was beyond him- but that turned out alright in the end. He even agreed to get the arc reactor removed. Which turned out to be a bad idea when he finally was able to consult the doctors. He didn't even get past telling Pepper he wasn't going to do the surgery after all for her to tell him they were through, he was too obsessed with his trinkets and playing the hero and now he wasn't even going to do something that would help him. She refused to listen to any reasons why. He was just glad that he could trust her to be professional and keep being the CEO of Stark Industries. He wasn't cut out for the job, really. But... Pepper was just another person who broke his trust, and one that hurt more than Obie because Pepper had seen him through that and she should know better... but she didn't. She left him.

 

The reason he hadn't followed through on the surgery was the doctors actually didn't recommend it at this time. Why? Because the shrapnel had been in there so long it would be delicate work to take out, not to mention the arc reactor took up a lot of space. Even if he was able to remove it, he was missing a chunk of a lung he wouldn't get back. He was also missing part of his sternum and bits of his ribs. It simply wouldn't be a good idea until the doctors had plans in place on how to get that healed up as much as possible and replace what they could if it couldn't heal. They did however help him design a better system to keep the shrapnel away. It involved cleaning up the casing and that stuff, and making it so that the arc reactor dying didn't automatically mean the magnet would stop working. He had some time before it did, which actually was a great relief, and he worked on improving it as much as he could, so that the time increased from five minutes to fifteen minutes to a half an hour. His goal was to make it an hour, and to have arc reactors in place so he could get to them in that time frame; a half hour was just too slim a margin. But at least he had a margin at all, it allowed him to breathe easier.

 

It was then he seriously started working on trying to find someone who could help him. He started by looking for those who had doctorates, then he started looking at their thesis papers and anything they were involved in that was public record. He respected the privacy of their patients and didn't dig too much, but it was difficult. It wasn't until he found a doctor with a fascinating thesis on brainwashing that he thought he found a good one. He dug a little deeper. She didn't really take many patients, preferring to consult on cases. Apparently she'd even consulted on the Hulk! Tony had cackled gleefully when he saw her compare the Hulk to a child having a meltdown or temper tantrum (which apparently were two different things), the only difference between him and a child being being his size and incredible strength leading him to violence. That one he showed Bruce, who for once was speechless, and then locked himself away for hours looking up videos of the Hulk to see if he could see what she saw.

 

But what really sealed the deal was the discovery that the doctor preferred her privacy, and that's why she only consulted. Tony briefly considered that maybe she had something to hide, but he didn't care. He could compensate her well, JARVIS could make sure their sessions or whatever were protected, and she wouldn't spill that she was Tony Stark's therapist. It was perfect.

 

Of course it took a bit to convince her to help him, by then it was mid-February, but eventually she conceded to doing a few trial sessions once a week, warning him he had to be on time or else. Of course, those sessions were through a video chat. Not much really happened during those sessions, if he had to be honest. It was mostly just talking about his past, and her working to get past his masks. She had the patience of a saint, and thanks to her knowledge of psychology, she was generally good about when to push and when not to, which was actually a first for Tony, even Rhodey had more slip ups than she did at times. It was a nice change of pace from everyone around him. Neither of them even noticed when the trial sessions ended and became a regular thing, though at times Tony had to reschedule thanks to unavoidable circumstances. Between not wanting to explain to people who didn't really care why he needed a therapist, and his doctor's need for privacy, he didn't tell anyone, so sometimes it became difficult to video chat once a week. Even if they did, Tony found himself texting her occasionally when he was having trouble with his anxiety. He almost could say he and his therapist were friends by the time things went south. She was revealing little details, always careful to keep enough secret that he couldn't actually find her (not that he planned to try; he respected her too much). But it was a nice casual friendship he had never had, and it was reassuring, and had done more to help him than the sessions did sometimes.

 

And then things went south. Which led to him fuming about how he is not stupid thank you very much but people always treated him like he was when he made poor decisions. They never looked at why. It was maddening. It took a few days after the mess before he was able to contact her, partly because he was shaken by accidentally stumbling across her identity, but also because he was busy trying to make sure the refugees had places to stay, enough to eat, jobs, that sort of thing. Not that anyone noticed of course. When he finally had a moment to himself, locking himself in his room and telling J-no, FRIDAY, not to let anyone bother him, he let her know he was available for a session, finally. He needed it. He'd also had to make sure that FRIDAY would be able to hide their connection as well as JARVIS had been able to.

 

“Hello Tony,” she greeted him when he answered her call. He smiled weakly.

 

“Hey doc. So should I call you Laura or Barton or what? 'cause you know I still find it weird that you've been married to birdbrain this whole time, not that I blame you for hiding that I wouldn't want anyone to know if I was married to that idiot either, oh and by the way your kids are cute but don't tell anyone I said that-” he was going to continue but she cut him off, voice amused.

 

“Just call me Laura. I still can't believe you called them mini agents.”  
  
“I was off-balance after everything, and I wasn't expecting to see kids at a safe house,” he protested. He paused. “Nor was I expecting to see you.”

 

“I know. I'm sorry I didn't tell you, but Clint wanted me to be safe so...” she shrugged. “Anyways, you ready to begin your session? I take it there are a lot of things to talk about this time...” Tony groaned.

 

“Is there ever... I know I have everyone from Bruce to those two kids we picked up to Fury thinking that I'm stupid. I'm not! I make stupid decisions yes, but they never think to look beyond the surface of why, it just matters that I did it in the first place!” He ran his hands through his hair in frustration. “I'm not stupid,” he repeated tiredly. “Which is why I can't figure out why the hell I created Ultron! I don't...” he trailed off with a defeated sigh, slumping forward.

 

“Why don't you walk me through what happened?” Laura suggested gently. “Then we can take a look at the emotions driving you. You're such a logical person normally I understand why it's frustrating to get irrational and make poor decisions. So lets figure out how it happened, okay?” Tony let out a long breath and nodded, running a hand down his face.

 

“Ultron... I've been toying with his coding for years. Ever since JARVIS really. You know, JARVIS was actually my project for my doctorate and I nearly dropped out of the program when I realized he could pass the Turing test. I didn't want people trying to get their hands on him. It was only after I got assurance that my paper could be declared classified that I decided to go through with it. My thesis is full of the dangers of AI. I can't believe Fury's first words to me in that barn after his initial reaction to me talking to the tractor were 'Artificial Intelligence. You never even hesitated.' Has-” he choked up briefly. “Had he even met JARVIS? Had he not read my paper, he would've had the clearance for it. Of course I didn't hesitate, I've created AI before and it worked out.” He took a few deep breaths as he ran a hand through his hair again. Laura remained quiet so he could talk.

 

“So... I knew the dangers... I started messing with the idea of a protector AI after I finished my thesis. JARVIS did that, but he was really meant to be a butler more than anything, and I wanted something that could help the world. But because of the dangers, I actually was hesitant. When I go t back from Afghanistan, before I became Iron Man, I actually took a look at the coding and worked on it a bit again. With everything going on since, I started returning to it more and more. I wanted to protect earth, protect everyone from the dangers of the world, and the dangers beyond this world... But I knew it wouldn't work, not the way I wanted it to. I felt like I was missing something, because every time I ran the code for possibilities it came up as likely to turn on me. So I left out the code that would bring him to life, and started working on containment. I'm not stupid, doc. I wanted to see some progress, so I wanted to bring him to life, even briefly to see the computer thought process that would turn him against me, so that I could rectify it. I had it mostly finished too, I just had to iron out how to bring him online to interact with me and J without actually connecting to the internet, and so that if J had to get out, he couldn't follow. That was all I had to do... I was so close.”

 

“And then we went on that mission. Pretty standard, really. A little more difficult than usual, but that was to be expected since Loki's scepter was there. I'm not sure why, but that's when things went wrong for me and I don't understand it...” He sighed, wrapping his arms around himself as he continued in a haunted voice, “I walked into the room with the scepter, and suddenly my worst fear, a nightmare I'd actually had a few times was in my mind. It was more... _real_ than ever. Everyone was dead, with that damn presence I felt when I flew that nuke into space there and malevolent... and triumphant. Steve was barely alive... and he blamed me, claimed I had a way to protect everyone... and I failed. I could've protected them, and I failed,” his voice shook, “I took the scepter then, trying to shake off the nightmare, but it lodged itself in my mind... We'd been planning on running tests anyways so I felt like maybe I could use Ultron's coding for one of the tests just to see what would happen. Took a bit to convince Bruce, but I was determined to make it happen. I'm not certain how Ultron woke up, since I never put in the coding to make him actually work, but I should've expected it since magic was involved. I didn't even see it happen, I was confident it'd be fine...” He looked up, eyes glistening.

 

“He destroyed JARVIS, Laura. My AI, my creation... my son, is gone. Thanks to my mistake. I'm not stupid, doc... But I don't know why I did it. Why did I leave the testing alone, I'm smarter than that, why was I so confident it'd be fine? Why didn't I just stay the hell away from his coding, there was a reason I'd been working on that containment server, dammit. But I did it anyways. It was so stupid... but I'm not that stupid... but that's the only explanation. I... I'll never forgive myself for causing every death that happened, starting with JARVIS,” he finished in a whisper. Laura was silent in contemplation for a few minutes, watching him attempt to regain control of his emotions. Despite being his therapist, he still didn't like to let anyone see him cry, though at least he was willing to be seen as vulnerable.

 

“What were you thinking about the scepter before you found it?” she asked finally. Tony shrugged.

  
“I respected Thor's need to make sure it's taken care of properly and doesn't land in the wrong hands... I still wanted to run tests if only to see what kind of things it could do and how, so that we could be more prepared in the future, though it turns out that whole thing was completely unique anyways so not like we really needed that... But yeah, I just wanted some data, no experimentation or anything.”

 

“So, was it that nightmare that changed your mind?”

 

“Yeah, I guess it was. I mean I hadn't even considered using dangerous alien tech for Ultron til then. But suddenly it just made sense, it was the only solution and I had to protect everyone...” he trailed off. Laura frowned.

 

“I think it makes sense, though we'll need to figure out why your worst fear suddenly appeared to you out of nowhere,” she commented. Tony snorted.

  
“I wish I knew that answer myself. Without it things wouldn't have gone so bad, I wouldn't have nearly completely destroyed a city fighting the Hulk, we wouldn't have caused damage in South Korea, and Sokovia wouldn't have had to be destroyed...” Tony sighed. “I'm not stupid,” he repeated again. “So why did I let my emotions drive me in a completely stupid direction?”

 

“Because you're only human, and when you have time to process your emotions you can be logical, only you didn't get the time because the scepter was right there, a possible solution,” she replied gently. “And the others should know by now you don't do anything without a good reason, and they really should've tried to find out. I'm guessing they don't know about the nightmare, do they? So what did you tell them?”

 

“The truth...” Tony answered dully. “I'd discussed needing a protector for earth with Bruce before, and this was just making it come true because isn't the point of being an Avenger fighting so that we don't have to anymore in the end? I just love how they assume I didn't know the risks, but I was so ashamed of going through with it without any of the precautions I'd been working on I kept my mouth shut. I think Bruce noticed, but he didn't call me out on it which is good because I don't think I could've taken their further disappointment as they tried to figure out why I changed my mind... I don't even know, Ultron is my fault, and I don't know why I went against my own knowledge to create him.”

 

“It probably doesn't help that they completely disregarded JARVIS, huh?”

 

“No kidding! Did they ever consider that JARVIS was the most sophisticated AI ever created before Ultron and Vision? And I created him on my own, no magic stones to help me with him unlike Ultron and Vision. I mean I know I hid that he past the Turing test easily from everyone, but surely some of them, particularly Natasha and Clint, suspected. But no, as soon as I make a murderbot, entirely by accident mind you, I had no clue what I was doing messing with artificial intelligence. Gee, thanks. I guess I'm not a genius after all... I guess I'm not even allowed to make mistakes once in a while. Yeah, sure mistakes don't often come with such a huge death toll, but come on look at what Wanda and Pietro did for Ultron!” he considered it for a minute then sighed. “Okay, Pietro didn't do much damage he was more to distract us, but Wanda... she got into everyone's heads but me and Clint, totally made them practically catatonic, and I know what they saw wasn't happy. And they had to have known what Wanda doing that to Bruce would do, which means she intentionally set Bruce up to do a lot of damage and kill people, and sure she was following orders of someone she thought was right. It was a mistake she made. So why the heck is she forgiven but everyone hates me? They're all going to move out to the new Avengers compound as soon as its ready, and leave me behind. I had to leave the team, without Bruce there to keep me steady, I can't handle their judgement. It's clear they don't think they need me anyways.”

 

“Just focus on yourself, not what anyone else thinks. I know everyone thinks you're selfish, but if they knew you they'd realize that wasn't true. And you need to be selfish right now. Focus on yourself, on working through your emotions. We've been doing this for nearly a year and a half, and you've made great progress. This is merely a setback. Let's work on everything else, then we'll tackle the issue of the nightmare, okay? It seems everything comes back to that, and I think it'll be easier if we've worked out the lesser problems first. Especially since you don't know why it came up when it did or even why it affected you so much.”

  
Tony nodded slowly, and they soon were caught up in the debates of every little action he did, Laura constantly reassuring him that his emotions were valid even if he chose to act on them in horrible ways. She also continued to remain unimpressed with how those around him had reacted. They hadn't even tried to find out anything about Tony, or why he did things the way he did, making it even easier for him to make those poor choices in the height of emotion.

 

They continued the sessions as before, as often as they could. It helped, but they didn't get anywhere with the nightmare that Tony had because it was always too fresh, always invoked strong emotions. Sometimes it even gave him panic attacks. Meanwhile the team was changing. Wanda had joined it, and something about her made Tony uneasy, which worked out because it turned out the girl still hated him and refused to trust him in any way. Sometimes she even refused to be in the same room as him.

 

Pietro, her brother, hadn't died, but no one actually knew the truth besides Clint, and a few doctors sworn (and paid) to secrecy. He'd been severely injured, and Tony had been the one to discover that he was alive, barely. He'd never stopped breathing, though his pulse had slowed to the point of being unnoticeable. The only reason the boy had survived (he and Wanda were only 15 years old), was because his advanced metabolism had saved him. Unfortunately, there was severe damage, enough so that without a cradle, he had a long road of recovery, and at the time it didn't seem like Pietro would even survive.

 

Tony debated long and hard with both Clint and Laura about whether he should keep the fact that Pietro had survived from the team, especially his twin sister. But, in the end, they decided against it. There were a lot of reasons in the end, really. It was unlikely he'd even wake up, and Wanda was already convinced he was dead. No need to awaken her pain again by telling her. And if they weren't telling Wanda, then they didn't have the right to tell any of the rest of the team. And if they were to keep it secret, then they needed to find a place where Pietro could easily recover, and be off the grid aside from discreet doctors...

 

Clint and Laura protested the first time he brought it up, but over the next week, he was able to wear them down and get discreet contractors out to the farm to modify it to the doctor's requirements. Luckily, the compound was ready, so everyone else in the tower moved out. Clint stayed behind, saying that since he was retiring there was no point in him moving to the compound, he only needed to sort out a few more things. He stayed oblivious to how Tony knew Laura- Tony had insisted he call his wife and then dumped his idea on them then, and Clint was unaware that Tony had also debated the issue of letting people know with her.

 

When Clint finished things up, it happened to (not by coincidence) line up with when they were moving Pietro, who remained in a coma. Tony came along with, so that he was on hand in case he needed to arrange things. That and he really needed an off the grid vacation for a few days (Clint had offered that for all the Avengers but none felt like they needed it besides Tony). He'd left instructions and such with Pepper, so she was aware he was disappearing for a few days before resuming responsibility for the whole incident with Ultron. Things were a little tense on the quinjet over, but it wasn't that bad. Clint didn't blame Tony as much as the others for Ultron, at least. But he still wasn't prepared for Laura's reaction to Tony.

 

After she greeted Clint in their customary way, she turned to Tony and swept him in a hug, stunning both genius and archer. Tony froze, then awkwardly brought up his hands to return the hug, a stunned expression on his face. He was still wearing that expression when she finally pulled away to look him up and down to see for herself how he'd been doing; sometimes even video chatting didn't cut it, especially after having met him in person once.

 

“Uh... Laura?” Clint asked uncertainly, “you don't normally hug people...” he pointed out. She glanced at Tony and raised an eyebrow at him. He shrugged, trying to appear indifferent. She waited for a verbal response.

 

“Fine, go ahead,” he mumbled finally. She eyed him, but decided to go with it for now, Clint really did need to know right now. They could talk it over later. So the therapist turned to her husband.

 

“I've been his therapist for almost a year and a half, communicating only through video chat,” she informed him bluntly. The archer's mouth opened and closed wordlessly for a few minutes as his brain short circuited in an attempt to understand what she said.

 

Tony quickly busied himself with the machines attached to Pietro and helping Dr. Cho, who was the doctor in charge. He was not happy that his secret had been revealed like this, but he'd expected it, and he really didn't want to deal with any teasing Clint might do. The doctor gave him a confused look at how unusually helpful he was being. Not that he didn't usually help, but not usually this much. And it was clear it was just to keep himself busy. Meanwhile, the Bartons were having a conversation, once Clint finally rebooted his brain.

 

“So... Tony actually has been seeking help...?” he asked slowly. “No one thought he'd actually do it, though that does explain a lot... Especially with how quick he seemed to recover from the PTSD he was dealing with still during that Mandarin incident, a lot of people thought he was faking the PTSD for attention and to force opinions to change, but that never felt right to me...” he trailed off thoughtfully.

 

“Oh? And why didn't that feel right to you?” Laura questioned evenly, just that tone of voice told Clint he better tread carefully though he was completely clueless as to why, so he answered as honestly as he could.

 

“Because Tony doesn't like to be seen as vulnerable. At the end of the invasion, after he fell out of the portal... He immediately started joking after waking up. Thinking back on it, that's really surprising. And over the time since then, I've never really seen him super emotional... I know that sometimes he has to change the arc reactors out, but he doesn't let anyone but Bruce, Pepper, or Rhodey help him, and I only know that because of spying in the vents, it was early enough after forming the Avengers that I didn't realize that I wasn't meant to see that, and once I realized it, I never brought it up... Anyways, he hates to be seen as vulnerable, so if why would he fake panic attacks over PTSD?”

 

He shrugged, following his wife to the kitchen table where she got a cup of coffee for both of them, to keep her hands busy. Tony was being kept busy, though it seemed they didn't need too much help thanks to the high tech equipment in place already and on the quinjet. Laura watched for a moment, then pursed her lips after a sip of coffee, thinking about how to approach this without breaking the confidentiality agreement.

 

“And... what do you think about his involvement in this most recent debacle?” she queried, casually. Clint raised an eyebrow. He'd known her long enough to know that she wouldn't ask that question without a good reason; he'd been her guinea pig enough back when she was still studying. Then he decided to just answer truthfully, since she'd get the truth out of him one way or another, and he didn't really like lying to her if he could help it to begin with.

 

“Well... I know the others aren't too happy with him, and all... but... I don't know. It seemed odd. I mean, I don't blame him for not sharing it with the team, even with the implications of the protector program he was working on, it's not like most of the team would even try to listen. It'd go right over Steve's head- not only would he fail to recognize Tony's logic and therefore why Tony thought we needed something like that, he wouldn't understand any of the science behind it. I keep my intelligence quiet, the team as a whole don't really believe I'm that smart despite my job. I kind of avoid Tony sometimes to keep him from finding out and bugging me about it, to be honest... I like where my life took me, I don't need intervention and education at this point.”

 

“And let's get back to the point.”

 

“Right. Uh... let's see... Oh, right, so I'm not a good option for Tony to have discussed it with since I'm mostly associated with pranking and being a good person to exchange insults and sarcasm with for him. Thor, while I think he's smarter than most of the team gives him credit for, is from an entirely different culture where their technology mixes with magic. I don't think he'd really understand, at least not the way that would be needed. Natasha...” He sighed and took a long gulp of coffee. “I love Nat, but she seems to be oblivious to anything that's outside her preconceived notions... if it's in her head, it takes a lot of a hard evidence and a few obvious mistakes before she realizes she was wrong. She thinks the worst of Tony, so I doubt she would really think it through and would dismiss the idea as stupid. Which makes sense considering that pop culture likes to paint a picture of AIs always being evil or whatever. But it also doesn't make sense because JARVIS was most definitely the most advanced AI I've ever seen. I'm not sure he could've passed the Turing test, but dang was that AI impressive. I was convinced I was talking to a real person the first few nights in the tower until Tony finally explained it to me...” He stopped, then shook his head. “Oh, wait I read proof a while back that Tony created an AI that passed a Turing Test, it was highly classified, but come to think of it that was probably JARVIS.

 

“Alright, so it makes sense for Tony not to have discussed the plan to make a protector program with anyone besides Bruce before the fact. What about following through with it?”

 

“Tony isn't stupid. He makes stupid mistakes. We all do. But he's smart enough to know the dangers of AI, and he's created a damn good one before. He knows all the proper precautions to take, and honestly while he doesn't always take his own safety into account, he does always try to make sure its contained if something does go wrong. And he didn't. Come to think of it... He had been completely normal up until he got the scepter. After that... He seemed off, quieter, more focused and determined than usual, which was odd considering we'd just had a successful mission. Well aside from my injury but considering our odds that was actually pretty good... unless...” Clint fell silent, growing a bit pale as he thought. “My injury was caused by Pietro, he was interfering. No one really saw Wanda except for Steve...” he mused aloud. “And that was only briefly... she could've... no... she... wouldn't... but she would, they hated him... and she still does really...” His head snapped up, eyes wide.

 

“I think I figured it out,” he stated, voice a little strangled with the force of the implications. “Natasha and Steve don't trust Tony enough to talk about it with him, and Thor's vision apparently made him go look for more, so I don't think that was a good baseline... Anyways... Natasha experienced a bad memory, something that bothers her still today, it came in bits and pieces, just as she remembered it, and the emotions were as sharp as the day it happened instead of dulled by the years and coping since... Steve had a fabrication, something that hadn't actually happened, but was enough to really throw him off balance and affect him, and not much can do that...” He fell silent before speaking up again. “If... Wanda got to Tony between Steve seeing her and Tony getting to the scepter, she would've wanted revenge, and maybe she could've made sure the vision would ensure it would bring about his downfall, but even if it was just about causing Tony pain... It would've been enough to set him off...” He stood up, barely restraining himself from throwing the coffee cup to the ground. He was now unable to stay still.

 

“That would make an incredible amount of sense, especially since it really was abrupt the way he made Ultron, and I'm not even sure he really meant to make Ultron and...” he stopped, dead as a thought occurred to him. “He blames himself fully doesn't he? He doesn't know that Wanda could've...” He shook his head. “Why did no one see this?”

 

“Because no one wanted to,” Laura stated softly. “Because everyone has the media image of Tony Stark in mind, and few actually try to look beyond that. Because no one even thought to question seriously why Tony did what he did- sure they questioned his intelligence, but they never actually meant for him to answer that and didn't give him the chance to. No one even thought to actually look at his reasoning as to why he believed Ultron was necessary, and if they had I think this whole thing could've been prevented before he attempted, and gone smoother if they could understand. If his teammates cared enough.” She stared him down. He flinched.

 

“You're including me in that aren't you?” he asked, resigned as he sat down. “I really haven't been that great of a friend or teammate to him...”

  
“No, but you at least gave him a chance, something Steve and Natasha can't say. Oh, I need to have words with those two,” she grumbled under her breath before continuing, “they just assumed they knew Tony, but they don't. One important thing to keep in mind is he doesn't trust easily. At all. It took me three months to get him to talk about his real issues, the ones that cause the problems.” She sighed. “I admit, I was testing you. I'm glad you're not as deep in the doghouse as I thought you'd be because you actually use your brain and noticed things were up even if you never did anything about it.” She crossed her arms, thinking. “You know... I think you need to take the first step in trust, and admit to your own intelligence.” Clint froze.

 

“But... I don't tell anyone... Oh. I see. That's the point. Gaining his trust by telling him things I don't tell other people...” He thought it over. “I suppose he wouldn't be that bad to deal with, he honestly is so logical it's surprising when I see him react with emotion...” He sighed. “I just hope he doesn't try to give me that college speech.” Laura smirked at him.

 

“He probably will. He hates people wasting potential, but he'll come around to the idea that you're happy without it.”

 

Tony appeared at the door, looking exhausted but clearly trying to hide it. He waved to them casually.

 

“Pietro is all situated the way the doctors like it,” he announced. “Thank you for agreeing to this doc,” he added to Laura. “I just don't think it'd be good for him to be anywhere the Avengers can find him.” She nodded.

 

“And I agree. From what both you and Clint have said about Wanda, she's not dealing well. Telling her that her brother is alive would only allow her to keep from dealing with her emotions in a healthy way. It won't solve anything. Among all the other reasons we discussed. Now, I'm going to go see what it looks like then go tell the kids they can be out and about again now that that's over.” She moved away, leaving Clint looking at Tony awkwardly and Tony trying to hide his uneasiness.

 

“I better go now that everything is all situated, let you stay with your family and all,” he rambled, moving forward to get to the door. Clint blocked him.

  
“Tony, wait. I was trying to understand why you created Ultron, and all... I just have one question,” he stated, noting the way that Tony seemed to draw in on himself, despite schooling his face into a neutral expression.

 

“Well guess I have to answer it,” Tony drawled, trying to act casual, leaning against the wall.

 

“It didn't make sense to me. Oh sure you had reasons, and you're arrogant but you don't allow your arrogance to override good sense... Is it possible that Wanda got to you when you were getting the scepter?” he asked. Tony opened his mouth to deny it, then closed it, frowning in thought. A few seconds later, he finally responded.

 

“I never saw her...” he answered slowly, still gathering his thoughts. “And I didn't act like Natasha or Steve or even Thor acted either...”

 

“You don't need to see her for her powers to work,” Clint pointed out. “And they didn't even act the same as each other either. From what I've gathered, based on what little they shared, it was their worst memory and fear tied up together in the way that affected them the most, okay I'm not sure about Thor he was rather tight lipped about the whole thing. And it felt real to them, and the emotions were present too, and remained with them. The emotions didn't mute at all,” Clint finished. The other man was pale and starting to shake.

 

“That... explains everything,” he choked out as he stumbled to a chair and dropped his head into his hands. The archer sat down quietly, unsure of how to act now. Tony never liked physical contact, but doing nothing would make him seem callous...

 

“Yeah, that's why that was the only possibility I could come up with. 'cause you're not stupid. I read your thesis on AI, so it just wasn't adding up for me,” he added off-handedly, pulling his chair closer, so that they weren't touching but he was still within a foot. The genuis' head jerked up.

 

“You read it?” he asked incredulously. “And understood it? How?” Clint rubbed the back of his neck.

 

“I don't know if you read my file or not, but I was an orphan, in foster homes, and eventually joined a circus before refusing to be a part of the circus crime ring, and ended up killing the ringleader, and then SHIELD picked me up... I never had time for formal education, but I did read everything I could get my hands on. I think Phil, I mean Agent Coulson,” he corrected himself, not certain if Tony would know who he was talking about, or if he knew that Clint had been that close to him, “suspected when he saw the books I'd read, but he didn't say anything to me, and he encouraged me. Eventually for a psyche eval, I did an IQ test... It's 145, Fury was shocked. I already had a reputation for being a bit of a prankster who was good at my job at that point so we decided it was best to keep just how smart I was secret in order to have one up on everyone. And I had a high enough clearance to read that paper, and it looked interesting. Besides, Fury was always curious about you. He couldn't follow some of your logic, it was hilarious,” he added, remembering the questions the man had asked him. Tony stared at him blankly.

 

“...first of all that explains how you landed someone as intelligent as the doc, second of all, I really wish you could've told me sooner 'cause I totally need other people to science with, and we wouldn't have had to tell anyone, except for maybe Bruce but he's gone now so it doesn't matter. And you actually understood all of it? Why didn't you speak up?” Clint winced. That was a good question after all.

 

“Well... I didn't speak up because you were taking full responsibility for it and not defending yourself and considering that paper I totally thought you would, and even without taking the paper into consideration, it's obvious that JARVIS is... was, a very advanced AI, and acted like his own person. I didn't know what you were doing, and frankly, didn't want to make things worse, especially since Natasha didn't even seem to make that connection, and while she hasn't read that thesis paper she's aware it exists. So she knows you would have a good idea of the dangers and wouldn't do something fool hardy if you didn't think it'd work. I was trying to figure out why they were all so happy to just blame you, even your meager defense as to why you thought it was a good idea actually made sense if they actually stopped and listened. And I thought it was stupid they got offended you kept it secret,” he finished. Tony stared at him.

 

“Well...” he stated slowly. “I had been working on ways to test Ultron out while being contained and unable to go anywhere outside his servers before I fully activated him... And I didn't tell anyone because no one cares about my science stuff, nothing was going to happen until I was prepared for the experimentation anyways... and what no one wanted to know, but I really wanted to tell them, actually didn't have much to do with my knowledge of AIs but rather the fact that Bruce and I were merely running a test to see if the mind stone thingy was compatible with AI coding, and therefore would work. It wasn't supposed to actually create Ultron, and it's likely part of the reason Ultron went nuts is I didn't finish all of his coding, and I'd only pulled up part of it anyways just for the test. Nothing was supposed to happen, but I guess I should've expected magic to work on its own. If I hadn't had that vision... that Wanda might've given me... Yes I did see a vision but I thought it was me going crazy... well crazier really, without it, I probably would've monitored the whole process, I don't often let experiments go by themselves unless it's something that can be monitored and contained by JARVIS. And that really didn't fall into that category but I was so off balance that I just did it, consequences be damned I guess...” Tony sighed. “The whole mess is my fault.” Clint raised an eyebrow at him.

 

“No, it is not. Between what you've already said and what your thesis paper said, without that vision powering you, and we saw how it affected Natasha and Steve, I'm surprised none of us noticed anything off, though in hindsight I see it. Between all of that, it's obvious that you weren't going to create Ultron without sturdy defenses in place and preparation to monitor the situation. And I suppose it's possible you weren't even going to actually bring Ultron online at all. Which means that without Wanda affecting you, none of this would've happened,” Clint stated firmly. Tony sat back, stunned.

 

“You... you're right. I can't believe...” Then, Tony frowned. “And they're going to let Wanda join the Avengers, after everything. I'm so glad I retired as an Avenger, I couldn't handle working with her now that I know... even worse, she completely blames me for Ultron and her brother's 'death'. How can she do that when she knows it's her own fault?” Tony exclaimed. “Honestly if anything this shows that her age is a problem, she's only 15!” He threw his hands in the air. “But no Steve Rogers knows what's best and what's best for a fifteen year old is apparently to train to be in combat situations without worrying too much about how good her control is. No, she should be seeing a therapist, and completing her education while training occurs on the side, and she shouldn't be allowed to be a full time Avenger until she's 18, but no, what do I know! And Natasha wonders why I left,” he added with a grumble. Clint winced.

 

“Okay, yeah, Natasha has a definite blind spot where you're concerned, and I don't get it.” He frowned. “And you're right about Wanda, I just didn't want to say anything since everyone already knew I was leaving... They're all going to hate us for keeping this secret, but I don't blame them...” Tony snorted.

 

“Yeah, I know. They should get freedom of choice and all that jazz, but unfortunately in the world of politics, spying, and abilities, it's just not possible sometimes. It sucks, I want to tell them something, but anything that would make them suspect he's alive would just turn everything upside down while they get up my ass about it again and go looking for him without being deterred, as if Steve could get away with looking for the Winter Soldier aka Bucky Barnes without me noticing him using Avengers resources. I allowed it because Bucky deserves a chance, but it's still not very good, but I'm not a leader so no one cares about my opinions anyways so why should I share them?” he asked rhetorically. Clint winced again.

 

“And I don't think I've helped matters any...”

 

“Oh, don't worry about it Legolas, you were a good pranking partner and opponent and far more willing to engage in conversation without dismissing me than them. I'm good with that, and actually that could work in our favor. I can't access the team easily because they suspect me and hate me... and it's only gotten worse since Ultron. But you, they probably wouldn't be opposed to keeping you in the loop...” Tony mused thoughtfully. “Which, then means I can be kept in the loop, so I can do some damage control...”

  
“I'll do it. It'll be fun. And it'll make it easier to judge if anyone's ready to be brought in on the secret of Pietro or not.” He frowned. “You know for all that Wanda isn't dealing well with her brothers death, I think the better reason to keep it secret from her is her rage and vengeance and frankly appalling morals. I don't know what she'd do if she found out that he was in a coma, probably try to wake him... She's a wild card who has no business being on the team until she's straightened out. At least with you we had an idea of how you'd react, with her we don't know how she'll react once her emotions compromise her.”

  
“Okay enough of this talk,” Laura announced, walking in, though she looked pleased. “Everything looks good, so we're all set, and let me tell you I'm so glad to hear you two talking and bonding.” Tony and Clint exchanged horrified looks. She giggled. “That's pretty much what you were doing. I'm glad you've opened the line of communications, and are talking, but it's time to make some dinner so we can eat, which means its time to leave the heavy topics alone for a while.”

 

Tony wasn't sure how he ended up chopping up vegetables for her, but he did. Clint was doing some other thing for his wife, and they were having casual talk about the kinds of habits he'd developed that could affect the kids now that he was to be a full time dad. The inventor found himself throwing in a story about Clint being an assassin with nerf darts and getting almost everyone and killing them before they even realized he was playing a game with them. Somehow that drew him into their conversation and it eventually turned to them getting to know him better (not that Laura needed to, though she knew him on a deeper level and not some of the little things he was sharing right now).

 

It wasn't until he helped Clint with the kids after supper that he realized he fit right into the family easily, without meaning to. And that, somehow, he actually enjoyed himself. Maybe some good things came out of Ultron after all- he didn't think Clint would've shared his IQ with him otherwise. He would definitely have to find excuses to visit as often as possible. In secret, of course. He was Tony Stark. He'd manage.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pietro wakes up and is not sure what to do with himself. Meanwhile Tony tries to be a good person.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a note of the timeline for the fic that I'm using.
> 
> Iron Man 2009  
> Iron Man 2/Thor 2010  
> Avengers/Iron Man 3 2011  
> Winter Soldier/Thor 2 2012  
> Avengers 2 May 2013  
> Nathaniel Barton born July 2013  
> Pietro wakes up September 2013  
> Wanda and Pietro's 16th birthday December 23rd 2013
> 
> Note* everything is according to that year, electronics, movies, most events etc. Just with the major additions that Stark Industries have like the Stark phone versus the iPhone and other phones. I hope that makes sense.

Tony was rather astonished at how quickly he and Clint became best friends after that chat of theirs. It was not the same sort of friendship as the one he and Rhodey had, but it was just as deep, somehow. Clint continued to keep him updated, Tony continued his sessions with Laura once a week if he could manage it, and he also dropped by as frequently as he dared. Having the Iron Man suit really helped, seeing as not many people could track his comings and goings that way, making it ideal for keeping the house secret while still visiting more than once a month. However he it make it a point to drive one of his lesser known cars there just so that he'd always have transportation besides the suit there. Rhodey had noticed his new habits and there was a mild confrontation but Tony insisted it needed to be kept secret, it had to do with both Clint as well as Tony's new therapist, and he was still getting everything done he needed to. 

Thankfully, Rhodey trusted him. It probably had a lot to do with the fact that within the first three months of Tony talking to Doc. Barton, Rhodey had noticed the change and behavior and asked, without assuming. So Tony took a leap of faith and trusted him, which had done wonders even if he wasn't able to trust anyone else that he associated with to that degree. While Rhodey had his duties as part of the military he was supportive, and even had a few chats with the therapist himself (after spending months convincing Tony to arrange it) so that he could find better ways to support Tony. He'd learned his lesson after that birthday party that had gotten him the War Machine armor. He wasn't about to let Tony do that again.

The only other person that had any idea of what Tony was doing with his 'free flight/test flying' time was Vision. If he could really be called a person. Well that was probably petty of Tony, since Vision was JARVIS and his own person all at once. Which hurt Tony who still wasn't over the destruction of his son. He'd started consistently thinking of JARVIS as such after prompting from Laura. It'd actually helped ease the pain, but it was still difficult. As such, he didn't spend as much time with Vision as he could. Which was okay since the new android was spending a lot of time with Wanda it seemed, so he was adjusting alright. To be fair, Tony was avoiding checking in on him, especially since he wasn't certain he was a good person to determine if someone was coping or not.

The thing that really surprised Tony about visiting the Bartons... was the kids. Lila and Cooper took to him rather quickly. They dragged him to help them with projects and homework and to entertain them and play with them. He went along with it, completely bewildered. By the end of the second month, they were calling him Uncle Tony to his bemused delight. Laura and Clint meanwhile found it hilarious, and endearing. 

The visits were a breath of fresh air for Tony, and to his surprise, actually helped with his productivity when he was at home. He wasn't having to correct as many mistakes. He wasn't getting as side tracked. Huh. Maybe the team had been right that he shouldn't spend so much time cooped up in the lab. He was glad though that Laura had never pushed him on the subject, and had instead appealed to his curious nature about experimenting with new habits. He'd just never had a reason to do so before besides curiosity. And it was nice. He was managing the new charity for the Sokovia refugees, he was planning to hand the management of that over to someone who was from Sokovia that he could trust, once he found that person. He was starting by looking at Stark Industries employees. 

He made arrangements to pay the money for damages for the Avengers, making sure some of it came out of the fund he'd kept safe that he was making off of Avengers merchandise. He'd tried telling the other Avengers that it existed but they didn't care. Oh well, it meant he didn't have to spend his own money cleaning up all of their messes. And it was all of their mess, even if it took him a while to accept it. Ultron may have been his fault, but Bruce never stopped him, and Wanda triggered him. The mess that Ultron created wouldn't have happened without that. Hulk's destruction in Johannesburg was not his fault or Bruce's but rather Ultron (for creating the plan) and Wanda (for going along with it and believing it was a good idea)'s. He wasn't anywhere near Korea when all that mess happened. And Sokovia... well a lot was involved with that. So why should he have to pay for all of that with his own money. He made sure to keep enough in the fund to tide the Avengers over- now that he wasn't on the team anymore he was planning on restricting them to that and taking costs for rent, upkeep, and such important things from it for himself, at a reduced rate, but he wasn't really planning on letting them get it completely free either. It wasn't his fault they were unaware it existed. By his estimates, if sales of the merchandise continued as they were, they wouldn't realize there was a problem for several years unless they actually looked at the paperwork he'd left them. Seriously, they did not realize how much work he was doing, nor the work Hill had been doing helping him keep everything above board and on track. Their loss.

Aside from the charity and damages, he had to do a few press conferences and releases after Steve made things worse the one time he appeared. Tony had to do a lot of damage control after that one, being careful not to leak Wanda's involvement with Ultron or how she and her brother ended up with Hydra, while at the same time keeping truthful to the story. The Hulk was unleashed because Ultron had someone working for him who was able to do it through some means that they did not want to release because they didn't want anyone to copy it. Pretty much true. It was fairly simple from there- Wanda and Pietro had been laying low in Korea after the Hydra base had been destroyed (true but missing how they got there not that many people questioned it), they decided to help (obviously true by video footage), and ended up trying to save Sokovia and playing key parts. The hard part was spinning Ultron in a way that wasn't totally fiction without revealing his full origins. It ended up being a rogue AI who's coding had caught a blast of something from one of the things Hydra had been experimenting with. It worked, no one really questioned it (much), and life was moving on.

On top of that, he had to appease the board, but thankfully he hadn't had to do that much after he finally had enough the last time and pointed out that Pepper was CEO for a reason, and that he was in charge of only the R & D department, and it wasn't just his department carrying the whole of Stark Industries, the others also participated and probably could use some more focus for once thank you since R & D was under enough pressure. Oh that was a glorious meeting. The result was that he got them to agree to interning bright students either in their final year of high school or in college and allowing them to shift around the departments to find the intern position that suited them best, this allowed the (much) higher paid employees to actually do things to improve cost and function. It was perfect to allow Tony to recruit young geniuses to Stark Industries and at least help them through college even if they chose not to stay with the company- he was already working on another charity for that after realizing that Clint hadn't had the opportunity to pursue his intelligence when he was younger and while he was content now it was something that shouldn't have been allowed to happen. So now he just had to properly run the R & D department, which needed a few changes that he was working on to make things more efficient. It included a hierarchy, a way to assign projects, and a day once a month set aside just for brainstorming ideas to look into. Thankfully, the department was running alright so far and so this was put on the back-burner, at least until he had the press for the Avengers figured out, and all the rest of the aftermath of Ultron sorted out.

He had to spend a lot of time editing and working on FRIDAY to bring her up to more JARVIS' level, though he was nearing the point where the only way she'd get there would be by learning the way JARVIS did, so there wasn't much else he could do. He was however working on other AI. He'd learned his lesson. They were all based along the same lines as JARVIS and FRIDAY in function, so he figured they'd be fine. The one thing he wanted to make absolute sure wasn't going to happen again was having to switch from a sophisticated, adult AI to a new AI essentially still in the toddler and young child stage. FRIDAY had worked well enough but it'd been a huge switch, and now he wanted to be prepared.

Tony also worked on new suits, as usual, but he kept them moderate. He had a list of modifications and different types of suits he needed, and he only worked on two a week at most, though he was trying to keep it to one. Taking himself out of the Avengers meant he had to spend less time working on repair at least. He also worked on Avenger weapons and tools but that was actually fun especially since he was paying himself to do it. At probably a fourth of what his work was actually worth, but at least they were no longer getting it for free.

The final thing he worked on were his R & D projects, some new ones, some improvements, and others he looked at and delegated to others, while others had been passed on to him when the person working on them had gotten stuck. He did have deadlines but they weren't nearly as intense as they were before. It was rather nice, and made it easy for him to basically actually have weekends, which he tried to mostly spend with the Barton's. 

So the time after Ultron passed quickly. By the time four months had passed, Tony felt like a different man without so much pressure on him. He still had to make appearances, but he'd managed to wrangle a few interns into acting as his PA (to Pepper's annoyance; but whatever). They were all in their third year of college or later, needed the money, and were willing to learn how to get him out of his zone and prompt him to do what he needed to do. They took turns. There were a total of four, and they had some sort of schedule that they'd worked out between them that gave them a good amount of hours since they also had to go through paperwork and requests for Tony. He merely made sure that they had a tablet to keep track of everything on where they had a group document for everything that each one of them could edit so that they didn't try to do something more than once. Or not at all. It was working so far. They didn't even question him when he disappeared, merely reminded him that he was needed at this time at this place on this day, and that they'd call if he hadn't turned up by x amount of time previous. Have a good weekend. Or something like that. They were nice, and they worked hard without being the control freaks Pepper had turned into. It was one such weekend that Tony's fairly stable routine took a nosedive and he had to rediscover his equilibrium. 

Laura and Clint had taken the kids out for an outing, excluding Nathaniel who was now two months, and so not quite up for big family outings yet. He was currently napping. Tony was enjoying the quiet and reading a book while sitting next to Pietro, who of course, was still in a coma. He had improved a lot, and the majority of his injuries were fully healed. He would just need a lot of physical therapy once he woke up. The doctors weren't sure why he wasn't waking up. He hadn't had a head injury, well he had that one scrape from a bullet, but that shouldn't have been enough to keep him in a coma this long. One doctor theorized after hearing that Hydra had experimented on him, that everything had been too much for the boy's body, physically and emotionally and so he shut down to protect himself. It was the most solid theory they had at this point. 

Tony jumped and looked up when he heard what sounded like a groan. It took him a minute but he quickly realized it was Pietro when he saw the boy's hand twitch. The genius hit the button that would let the doctors know the speedster had finally woken up. They'd get there as soon as possible; there was always one doctor stationed at the nearest hospital just in case. He set his book aside and moved closer, hesitating as he wondered how the kid would react if he took his hand and deciding against it for now.

“Hey, kid, easy there,” he said, seeing Pietro move slightly. His eyes opened and he blinked at the ceiling for a bit before moving to push himself up. Tony moved to help him.

“You should be a little more careful, you've been in a coma for four months,” he commented casually as Pietro stared at him.

“W-what?” he asked hoarsely. Tony nodded.

“You lived, barely, we thought you'd died, then I realized you didn't and kept it secret, and got you here. It's been four months,” he rattled off. “Your injuries have been healed, a few that aren't quite there yet, but most of them are there but between the damage they caused and being out of it for four months you'll need some physical therapy to get back into shape.”

“Thank you Mr. Stark,” one of the doctors stated dryly as he approached. “Now I'll do my job if you'll let me.”

“Oh fine.” Tony stepped away to let the doctor examine Pietro, checking his phone. He didn't often sit with Pietro when he was visiting- what was the point of watching someone who was unconscious- but he hadn't wanted to intrude on the family outing, and it was rare he let himself just enjoy reading a book. He might as well do it in Pietro's 'hospital' room as anywhere. It was something Laura suggested he do once in a while, allow himself to enjoy simple things besides building and improving things.

After a moment of debate Tony opened up his secured text messages. He kept a secured line that JARVIS, now FRIDAY, that blocked hacking from viewing any of the text messages sent or received over that line. While he did usually message Rhodey normally, he would use the secured way if it was top secret. This helped him keep Clint and his family secret while staying in contact. 

The kid woke up finally, the doctor is checking him out right now. Don't hurry home, we'll be fine. He took a moment to review it, then sent it. Hopefully Clint would actually listen to him and not cut the day short. Lila and Cooper had been so excited to go, since it'd been a while since they had a family outing like that. He then moved to check on the still sleeping two month old, relieved to see him still sleeping. He may have learned how to take care of babies, but he was still a bit uneasy about doing so alone. Not that the doctor in the room would let him make a mistake. The doctor looked up as Tony approached him and Pietro.

“He's as healthy as we expected,” the doctor informed him. “Diet and therapy will be as we discussed, and one of the team will drop by each day to see if adjustments are needed.” Tony nodded.

“Got it. I'll go heat up some broth then.” He turned to go, missing the look of bewildered surprise Pietro was giving him.

He was back a few minutes later with a bowl of chicken broth. Two months previous, just after Nathaniel was born, the doctors had explained what the process for helping Pietro recover would be. Laura and Clint had prepared by pre-making a lot of broth and soup and freezing it. They also stocked up on the other foods that the boy would be allowed to eat as he grew stronger.

“I'll be making use of the room and trading off with nurses as he recovers, it will be a few days before we won't be needed,” the doctor informed him. Tony nodded.

“I'll let Clint and Laura know. Here you go kid.” He set the warm bowl of broth on the tray before moving it over the bed while the doctor moved the bed so Pietro could sit up. The teen looked a bit lost as he took the spoon shakily. The doctor checked over a few more things before leaving them. Tony sat down, keeping an eye on Pietro while trying to appear as if he was interested in something else. 

“Mr. Stark?” Pietro asked, almost timidly. “Why are you here? What's been going on?” Tony looked up. The broth was more than half gone but the boy looked worried about something.

“Call me Tony,” he stated flippantly before focusing on the answer to his question. “Well... I'm here because I felt guilty,” he started bluntly, shifting a little and making sure the teen could see how serious he was. This was something he'd talked with Laura about. He needed to be honest, and it would be good to get his feelings out, as well as being good for Pietro's own mental health. “The bomb that killed your parents was, indeed, designed by me. I did not build it by hand; I only ever built the prototypes myself. In a way, it was me who caused their deaths. However... Even if I hadn't designed that bomb, a bomb likely would've been there that day. A man I trusted, he was my father's business partner, was double dealing under the table. I only discovered that four years ago and the man's dead now. It's the main reason I stopped the weapons manufacturing in my company. On top of that... I hope you realize that even if Stark Industries didn't make bombs ever, a bomb probably would've been there, just from a different company as it is not me who sent the bomb to your house. Someone else was in charge, and it likely was an accident, meaning your house was not even targeted or meant to be targeted in anyway,” Tony explained gently. “I can look into it some more if you want answers.” 

Pietro drank some more of the broth while he absorbed everything Tony had said, stunned. He couldn't deny the man's logic, especially since it had always been at the back of his mind, even back when it'd happened. He'd just wanted someone to be angry at, someone to blame. Because that was easier to handle than knowing his parents shouldn't have died; that they were collateral damage. It didn't help that Wanda was bound and determined to hate Tony for it. He'd tried once or twice to bring up the thoughts once the worst of their grief had died, but gave up as she ignored it.

“But... why do you feel guilty if it wasn't really your fault?” he couldn't help but ask the moment he'd finished thinking everything over. Tony shrugged, fiddling with his phone idly.

“Because I only ever built weapons to help- ridiculous I know, but being peaceful to help others be peaceful is for idealists. There will be always be violence, and the best thing to do is to protect against it. By giving the US military better bombs I was helping those men and women survive and beat their opponents. However my weapons were far more advanced than any other weapons in this war, so I decided to shut down weapons manufacturing and focus on better protective equipment so that they can return home rather than just making the fighting worse. Maybe not the best decision, but I couldn't stomach the thought of enabling more death. I consider any death by my weapons blood on my hands- by creating such advanced weapons I allowed people to be brutally murdered, just so our side could win. It's better off the guilt be on someone else.” 

“Oh... You... you didn't need to do all this though,” Pietro responded quietly, uncertainly. “We've hated you for so long... Wanda... attacked you to cause you pain and so that you'd get discredited by doing something horrible as a result of her mind manipulation abilities... I don't deserve this.”

“Yes, you do,” Tony replied firmly, surprising both of them by how stern he'd sounded. “You're still only 15, immature, and more prone to being emotional and letting emotions dictate your actions than adults. Wanda did the manipulating, not you. You may have allowed her to do so, but you also made up for it when you realized exactly how horrible Ultron was. You lost some points for deciding that unleashing the Hulk on innocents was a good idea, but over all... You got yourself in a coma making up for it. You saved a kid's life doing that, and Clint's. You'll get to see him later, this is his safe house. He's out with his wife and two kids. He also has a two month old baby. Annoying and loud, but kind of cute too. And you made sure that he could come home to them, that all three of those children would know their father. Clint isn't going to forget that, and I'm willing to look past your actions if you work to actually be a decent person with better morals than I have and all.” Pietro gaped at him.

“I...” He couldn't think of what to say. It was a lot to take in. Tony waved a hand dismissively.

“Don't worry about it. And don't worry about the emotions I'm sure are going on a roller coaster ride. Laura'll take care of that, she's Clint's wife and a brilliant psychologist. I've been seeing her for mental health therapy stuff for a year and a half now, and it's worked wonders. She'll make sure you get through it. As for what's been happening...” Tony sighed. “It's a long story. Bruce disappeared after Sokovia, and we haven't found him. Thor went back to Asgard, to research that stone that's now in Vision's head. The others... pretty much blame me. Well, aside from Clint who is the only smart one of them somehow. And that's normal. None of them trusted me in the first place, so Wanda fits right in. They moved out to a place we're calling the Avengers Compound to train and all that. I resigned. Especially after Steve disregarded my advice to get Wanda to see a licensed therapist, apparently 'she'll talk when she's ready',” he mocked before continuing on normally, “and he also doesn't think she needs any education. I mean yeah as an Avenger she gets a paycheck but come on man, she's 15 years old, with no training, poor education, sorry but Sokovia is way behind most of the world, and major mental issues, but she's perfectly fine being on a team.” Tony rolled his eyes. “I'd understand better if she was at least 18 or 20. It'd all be issues sure, but she'd be old enough for it all even if they're not handling it responsibly. But really? She's 15, barely old enough to be emancipated, should be in high school, and she'd be in her sophomore year, so more than two years away from graduation at that...” he shook his head. “Sorry, I shouldn't have gone off like that.

“No... I... I get it...” Pietro responded softly. “Is that why you didn't tell anyone I was alive...?” Tony nodded.

“Partly. I didn't trust them to handle you properly after everything. And Wanda... she's burying her grief and having random outbursts. It's not been pretty, and it probably would be worse for her to know you're alive before she's dealt with at least some of it...”

“Oh...” Pietro sighed, a bit disappointed, but not all that surprised. “She's... always been the more stubborn of us...”

Tony nodded, unsure of what to say. His thoughts were interrupted by Nathaniel waking up and starting to cry. He jumped up to retrieve the baby, back in a few minutes. He was cradling the baby and trying to convince him to drink from the bottle he was holding when he returned.

“Sorry, little Nathaniel here woke up and got cranky,” he apologized as he sat back down. Pietro nodded uncertainly as he shifted to get a better look at the baby, curious. He didn't recall ever seeing a baby that small before. 

“Hey kid, do you have any questions?” Tony asked suddenly, looking up from feeding the baby. Pietro jumped slightly, then considered the question.

“I... What's going to happen to me now?” he questioned. 

“Whatever you want,” Tony responded promptly. “Within reason of course. The next few weeks will be working at getting your strength back, which means physical therapy and listening to the doctors, as much as it sucks. Beyond that... Well, if you want to get an education, I can arrange for some homeschooling supplies to get you up to speed when you're stuck in bed, and we can see what you want from there. If you want to tell the Avengers you're alive and join, well I can't really stop you. I'm not sure it's a good idea, but it is your choice. Maybe I'm giving you too much freedom of choice, but I think you deserve it, within reason.”

“I... I understand what you're saying...” Pietro responded. “I'm not sure what I want... but I suppose making sure I know what I should is a good idea, so homeschooling stuff for now... I guess...”

“I'll get everything set up as soon as I can,” Tony promised. “So, where'd your humor disappear off to?” The teen gave him a look of disbelief and shock. “What? It was entertaining, and it seemed to be part of who you are... but there's none of it right now.”

“I'm in too much shock to joke around, especially considering what you've just told me...”

“Fair enough kid.”

By the time Laura and Clint got back with the kids, both Pietro and Nathaniel had fallen asleep, and Tony was searching through home school requirements and tools with one hand and occasionally switching to making notes of what kinds of arrangements he'd need to make- the first of which being an assessment of what Pietro already knows. 

Pietro didn't get to meet Laura until the next day, after Tony had left. Her gentle and soothing manner was a little surprising and threw him off balance. He wasn't used to such kindness, but eventually found himself opening up. Clint was good to be around as well.

Over the next few months, Tony increased the amount of time he spent at the Barton's, occasionally staying the night during the week even if he had to leave early the next morning. It turned out the teen wasn't as far behind as any of them expected and he quickly caught up in the areas where he was lacking. In the end, they decided to keep with the home schooling so he could determine the sorts of things he wanted to learn. He didn't complain. It gave him something to do while he worked up the strength to do more than walk from room to room.

Lila and Cooper adopted him as an older brother shortly after they met him. He put up with their antics easily enough, and soon was introduced to all the things they liked, especially Disney movies. They'd been horrified that he'd never seen a single one and had to fix it. 

With Laura helping him through his problems, and Clint and Tony being good sounding boards, Pietro hesitantly decided to carry on this way even after he regained most of his strength. He liked the family, and he found he enjoyed learning some of the subjects he studied. He didn't want to leave soon, but he did want to help people, so they set up a training program that would segue from his physical therapy into actual training exercises to prepare him for that life eventually. He didn't want to jump in headfirst like his sister, and was content with that. 

Before any of them realized it, it was December. The Barton's were soon busy decorating for Christmas while the two kids dragged Pietro into helping them at every opportunity. It was certainly a new experience for the teen. At three months after his coma, he was pretty much back to normal physically. Sometimes he still had trouble adjusting, but most of the time he was fairly happy, though he did miss Wanda a lot.

One day, he was sitting with the kids at the coffee table in the living room. Lila was coloring while kneeling while Cooper was reading a book on the couch. Pietro meanwhile had a laptop in front of him as well as a notebook as he slowly worked his way through his assigned math problems for the day. He enjoyed math well enough, but he'd recently moved onto doing some pre calculus basics, and it was much harder. He still liked it, though. Laura was in the kitchen making dinner while Nathaniel napped. Clint was out at the archery range, as he usually was in the afternoon when he could. Just because he was retired didn't mean he was going to drop archery. It just became a hobby rather than part of his job.

They had been working quietly for a while when the front door opened. They all looked up. Lila immediately jumped up, Cooper closed his book to join her, while Pietro merely smiled before returning his attention to his math work. He wanted to get it done. The two kids stopped when Tony held up his hand, the other hand was holding a cell phone to his ear. 

“I already told you, I'm taking an anonymous vacation to get away from the spotlight. Yes, from today til the 27th. I put that in the system three months ago, you can't claim this came out of nowhere for everyone. The Board and you, and the secretaries all can access my schedule.” Tony started pacing, sounding exasperated. “It's just one week off. Barring the time I was in Afghanistan, I've never had more than a few days off from work since I was a teen! I've worked on something to do with Stark Industries almost every single day of my life, even when sick or injured, and after getting on my back about being a workaholic and not having enough time to be the partner you wanted, now you're getting angry at me for actually taking time off? I need this time to myself. Ever since Ultron, I've been working my a-butt off trying fix my mistakes while still contributing to the R & D department.” He flopped down on the couch next to where Pietro was working and sighed.

“I don't get why you're so worked up about this, Pep. All I do for the company now is control the R & D department and help you with the company aims occasionally. It's not even like the Board needs me at every meeting even. And you can't say I haven't been producing results. Half the projects R & D have sent off for testing and/or production I had some sort of hand in, whether it was checking math, giving tips, fixing mistakes, or even doing half of the project. I've done a lot of the decision making for our clean energy campaign- including using my own money, not the companies, to provide Sokovia with the arc reactor technology to help with rebuilding and getting back on their feet. I've done work with some charities, started a few new ones, come up with the R & D goals for next year and a rough timeline, and all that has been submitted to you and the Board. And the majority of that is in the last month. I'm actually trying to be a human being instead of working all the time and not getting enough sleep, and now you're getting mad at me for it? Look, I know I'm acting different. I know you know I'm hiding something, but it's nothing bad, I promise. It's making me happy, and I don't want anyone to invade my new safe haven. It's mine.” He paused finally to let her speak. 

Pietro glanced up at him curiously before returning his focus to the last few problems. Lila and Cooper were sitting on either side of Tony, watching him with wide eyes. They'd never heard him speak like that before. Tony ran a hand down his face.

“You really want me to spend time with the Avengers?” He snorted. “I'm practically banned from the compound because even after seven months, Wanda Maximoff still can't handle my presence and I was doubly banned for the holiday season because of bad memories. Besides, Rhodey is going home to his mom soon, and he's the only one there now I'd want to be with on Christmas anyways. Bruce disappeared. Vision... he reminds me too much of JARVIS and I can't be around that right now.” Another pause. “Yes, Clint was good company at Christmas too, but he retired and dropped off the grid. So yeah, not like there's any motivation to be with the Avengers for Christmas.” He sighed. “Yeah. It's unfair that they're walking all over my good will. I've learned to live with it. They don't care that I provided the Compound for their use and that it's still technically my property. And yes, I've got them gifts. Oh, and I forgot to tell you. They're not living off of my money anymore. And aside from their gifts, nothing is free. It's all being taken out of the account that the Avengers merchandise money goes to. It was in all the papers they signed when they moved into the Compound. Not my fault they didn't read it. Besides, I did try to tell them.” He chuckled. “Yeah, I do take money out of the account for upgrading their stuff, not what the full amount would be, but I'm not doing it for free anymore either. Now, you really sound over worked, Pepper... Go to dinner with Happy or something. And take some vacation too. Maybe a week or two in January or February. Don't you have people you trust who can take care of your job while you do so?” He made a face. “No, not me. I hate that job. That's why I gave it to you. Well one of the reasons anyways. All Stark Industries personnel go through background checks, and the more important their job is the more thorough it is. If you trust the people you work with up in that office, then they can do it. They're cleared for it, and I trust your judgement.” Finally, he smiled. “Merry Christmas to you too.” 

He sighed in relief as he finally hung up, running a hand down his face before he allowed Lila to smother him in an enthusiastic hug. She'd been waiting rather impatiently to ambush him since he walked through the door. Before the two kids and one teen could pepper him with questions, Laura walked through the door, arms crossed and raising an eyebrow at Tony.

“I thought you said things had gotten better after that Board meeting,” she remarked casually. Tony sat up, without dislodging Lila and looked at her. The girl pouted; she didn't like it when her mom talked like that 'cause it meant that the 'adults' were talking and didn't want to play or pay attention to her and Cooper.

“I did,” he assured her, “but Pepper has trouble letting go since she spent so long as my babysitter. If she wasn't the controlling type before, dealing with me during my most destructive probably made her that way. Besides, apparently that was more about the Board wanting to do something last minute or whatever and threw a fit when they realized I would be unavailable.” He waved a hand dismissively. “And right before I left home, I set my phone to ignore anything from anyone who wasn't family, Avengers, or Pepper,” he explained. “She was freaking out a little, but she did calm down in the end and actually listened. Finally,” he added with an eye roll. Laura shifted positions and regarded him carefully. 

“Are you going to tell her about your therapy now that she is more open to listening?” she questioned. She didn't want it to blow up in his face, though telling Pepper would be a good step for him. She just wasn't sure Pepper was ready to listen. Tony snorted.

“Yeah, no. I know you want the chance to lecture her about all the things she did wrong when I was suffering PTSD and dealing with my issues, and that telling people is a good step especially since my issues played a part in our break up but no. I'm not going to tell anyone your identity, and Pepper would want to know it because that's just the way she is. I'm not sure if its from dealing with me or if she's always been that way, but she wouldn't leave me alone when I kept secrets, sometimes fairly but it got to be annoying too because well she'd then badger me about what was wrong until I shared and it was just not something I could deal with. And she'd be that way with the identity of my therapist- despite breaking up with me, she is still a bit protective of me. Anyways... Once Clint is okay with you and the kids being public knowledge, or at least known a bit more widely than 'need to know', and we know we can keep you safe, I'll reconsider telling her then.” Laura's face softened.

“Alright. I understand. I don't like having to hide like this, but I do understand.” She turned to go finish up cooking.

“Wait...” Pietro spoke up after a moment of silence. “Did you say you took off until December 27th?” Tony grinned.

“Yep. Didn't Clint and Laura tell you? I'm staying here for Christmas.” There was stunned silence before Lila and Cooper both cheered and the younger boy joined in the smother Tony attempt. Tony wrapped his arms around both, grinning at them. 

“And dinner will be ready shortly,” Laura announced, sticking her head in after hearing their commotion. 

“So what have you all been working on?” Tony asked the kids curiously. 

“I drew this!” Lila stated proudly, showing him the drawing. He took it and looked it over carefully, smiling when he realized it was a childish picture of Iron Man carrying Hawkeye. It wasn't really that bad for her age though.

“Wow, that's pretty good. What about you?” he turned to Cooper. The boy held up the book.

“I've been reading the Hobbit, it's interesting, but the author sure likes to describe things...”

“Yeah, the Hobbit and the Lord of the Rings trilogy are considered difficult books for a reason,” Tony told him, “but it's good to read them once anyways.”

“The Hobbit was fun to read,” Pietro spoke up, smiling at Cooper. “The Lord of the Rings trilogy is much harder.” He focused on the last of his math problems, frowning until he realized the method he was supposed to use for it and quickly solved it, sighing in relief at being done finally. 

“And it looks like you've been working hard.” Tony commented, leaning over to peer at his work. 

“Yeah, I actually enjoy math a bit so it's not too hard for me...” Pietro responded sheepishly. “Though I wish I could spend more time messing around and less time on work.” Tony laughed.

“Pretty sure all adults feel that way kid.”

“Are you ever going to stop calling me that?”

“Probably not. Kid just suits you.”

Pietro rolled his eyes as he put his supplies away in preparation for dinner. 

The time passed quickly. Soon enough Lila was fast asleep in bed, and Cooper was getting ready for bed. His bed time was a half hour later because he was three years older. Tony watched their antics the entire time with amusement especially how Pietro deflected Cooper's complaints about the older boy not needing to go to bed as soon as he did. In reality, Pietro pretended to the younger kids that his bedtime was ten o'clock when none of the adults had actually given one to him. They'd been good about respecting his independence and the fact he hadn't had parents for close to six years. It helped that he tended to usually go to bed around 10 anyways unless he got caught up in something. And he was generally pretty responsible rather than really needing the discipline. Once Cooper was tucked up in bed, Pietro turned to go to his room to put on his pajamas. Once it hit the late evening hours, he preferred that especially since often he didn't realize the time until he was exhausted and didn't like changing at that point.

“Wait!” Tony called. “I was wondering if you wanted to go to town with me.” Pietro paused and frowned slightly; it was almost 9 o'clock (Cooper's bedtime was 8:30 while Lila's was 8). Why would he be going to town at this hour?

“Uh, sure I guess...” He glanced at Clint and Laura who seemed unsurprised and both nodded that he should go. Tony grinned.

“Excellent, then we'll leave shortly.” 

Once they left the house, they rode in silence at first. Pietro glanced at the older man occasionally. Tony seemed way too excited but the speedster had no clue why. He then started contemplating his life, out of boredom (they'd been good at keeping him occupied at all times, especially with talking with Laura once she diagnosed ADHD in him). It wasn't something he even let himself do when he did have free time, choosing to do things to otherwise keep him busy. His life had taken a surprising twist after he decided to sacrifice himself, and fully accepted his impending death. But he didn't die after all. He was living. He didn't really like being separated from Wanda, but at the same time, he enjoyed it. It was nice not having to be responsible for her, not needing to worry about her losing it. It was nice to be able to explore options of his own instead of encouraging her interests. Despite how it might appear to outsiders, Wanda was the one who was stronger emotionally, as well as being more motivated for vengeance, and without her, Pietro would've never chosen to join Hydra regardless of how appealing their lies were. While they hadn't know it was Hydra when they agreed, they were agreeing to illegal experiments after all.

Pietro might seem more brash on the surface, but that was to hide that he was as emotionally fragile as his sister, perhaps even more so. It was hard to tell since he'd always had to appear strong and unfazed for her, even before their parents death. It just wasn't as bad then. And Wanda never hid her emotions. She wanted everyone to know how she felt. The difference, however, between her and him was despite feeling fragile and being at least as affected by everything as she was, by being strong for her, he learned how to deal with it instead of being consumed by it. He had to if he wanted to ensure her survival. Wanda never had to worry about it. And her emotional outbursts were far more spectacular than his own, even before her powers gave it a more physical from. She had poor emotional control, and only suppressed her emotions when she didn't want to feel weak. Which didn't happen until after they joined Hydra and only made her more unstable since she dealt with her feelings even less than before. And even before that, she was easily overwhelmed by her emotions. The experiments and her powers only made things worse. 

While her brother did also suffer, he had spent several months after their parents died crying and grieving at night while she slept. It was a habit he never dropped, and proved to be sufficient for dealing with the bulk of his emotions so they wouldn't affect him the way Wanda's affected her. Her poor control made it seem like she wasn't strong because everyone knew when she was emotional, but she hadn't needed to grieve as long as Pietro did, and there were times where he felt like crying at typical schoolyard antics and it hadn't fazed her a bit. That was one of the reasons he tried to appear strong.

Talking to Laura was weird for that reason. She encouraged him to open up, and told him it was okay to cry in front of people he trusted, especially when they discussed emotional subjects. He didn't need to be strong for Wanda anymore. He still struggled, he hadn't dealt as well with everything as he thought he had, and almost dying, accepting that death, well that leaves an emotional mark on someone. The worst though was keeping his survival a secret from his sister, even as he reveled in the freedom of her not knowing. He may be taking matters out of her hands by not giving her any choice but he was terrified she wouldn't like the new him- even the him that was just days out of his coma. It helped that he wasn't the only one keeping the secret, and they actually let him decide on his own without pressure as well. And their experiences before with Hydra and through their encounters with the Avengers, leading up to nearly dying really changed him. He didn't want to hold onto hate anymore, especially after seeing the path that lead them on. He also wanted the chance to be a normal kid and get an education and such. Based on what Tony and Clint had been able to tell him... it was very likely Wanda wouldn't approve and would react terribly. She apparently didn't think an education was necessary. He still hadn't told Laura or anyone but he was terrified that he'd either shut up and continue to go along with it much like he had when they joined Hydra and when she gave Tony that vision, or that she'd get so angry at him for even daring to treat Tony decently on top of everything that he was doing and trying out now that she'd disown him.

Both possibilities would break him right now so he needed to be emotionally stronger before facing her with his survival and changes. At the least, he needed to deal with his insecurities and worries, and everything he had tried to put aside to ensure her safety. He'd apparently handled it in a better way than she did, but he still was dealing with that baggage. He hated it, but that's the way it was. He needed to work through it all and figure out how he really felt before facing her again.

And the third, less pressing, worry was that she'd believe he was manipulated and blame Tony for all of it while assuring him it was okay and he didn't like the idea of Tony being treated horribly for something he didn't do. Or being treated badly for any reason really. The man might have social issues (his interactions with the three Barton kids were often hilarious though there was steady improvement there) but he cared in his own way, and he never treated Pietro badly for his actions before they realized Ultron's true goals. Not to mention such an incident would reveal just what she thought of him and that idea hurt. 

“We're here,” Tony stated, breaking Pietro out of his thoughts. He blinked a few times and turned to the man just in time for the genius to hand him a few items. They must've arrived while he was lost in thoughts, and he couldn't see where they were from their parking spot. Oh well. He glanced down at the objects in his hands.

“Huh?” He stared in surprised then smiled as he placed the necklace around his neck. From it hung a 'simple' gold ring. There was also a new shirt. He unfolded it and laughed. It was a scene from the first Hobbit movie where Bilbo ran out of Bag End exclaiming about going on an adventure, complete with the quote. Without really thinking about it he took off the t-shirt he was wearing (there was a long sleeve shirt underneath; it was Iowa in December after all) to switch shirts.

“Come on,” Tony grinned as he got out of the car. The teen noted, with some confusion, that Tony was also wearing a ring necklace and a t-shirt with a quote from the Two Towers. 'What are we holding onto, Sam?' 'That there's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo... and it's worth fighting for.'

Pietro followed glancing around curiously. It wasn't until they reached the movie theater he realized where they were. He stayed silent, confused and surprised. They were going to see a movie? Tony bought the tickets and then bought popcorn. They moved out of the way of the people milling around before Tony handed over the movie ticket.

“Happy birthday, kid,” Tony told him. Pietro stared at the ticket; one ticket to see the Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug at 9:35. He snapped his gaze to the older man.

“But my birthday's not for two more days,” he protested.

“Eh,” Tony waved his hand dismissively, “this was the was the best day to see the movie.”

“How'd you know when my birthday is anyways...? And that I'd want to see this movie?” Pietro asked as they stayed off to the side; they had fifteen minutes til the movie started plus the cushion of the trailers before the movie started

“Well kid, it's kind of hard not to know your birthday, seeing as it's in your file... Well, that and while I was heavily encouraged not to be around the compound for Christmas, I was totally banned for Wanda's birthday. Apparently it'd be too stressful to see me on her birthday when she can barely handle me normally.” Tony waved his hand dismissively. Because of his plans he hadn't really cared at the time.

“But... isn't that your place? Don't you still own it? Can they really ban you from your own house?” Pietro asked, confused. He wasn't in the mood to try to understand Wanda and her part in it all, and so decided to ignore that part of the information.

“Technically... They're paying rent so I suppose it is within reason to listen to their wishes but they can't really ban me as the actual owner.” Tony shrugged. “But they don't realize it so I'm leaving it be til I actually need to use the information. I was planning to be here for your birthday anyways so it's not like they really took anything away from me.”

“That's not really fair though...” the teen couldn't help but point out, frowning.

“Welcome to my life, kid. As for the movie, it's hard to miss your love of the Lord of the Rings trilogy and the fact you've been counting down to this movie since seeing the first one.”

“Well... yeah... but you didn't have to bring me...”

“No, I didn't, but I wanted to come up with a good birthday gift for you, so here we are. Popcorn?” Tony offered. The teen nodded and took a handful. He'd grown to know Tony somewhat decently, and knew that the man just wanted to redirect his attention. He couldn't help but wonder why the genius was uncomfortable with the topic, but such thoughts soon vanished as they entered the theater and settled in for the movie. 

It wasn't even his birthday for two more days, and it was already shaping up to the best one he had since his tenth birthday, even without Wanda around.

...................

Tony blinked in surprise as he walked into the kitchen shortly after lunch. He'd disappeared for some quiet reading, and missed lunch. Now he was hungry. But there was an obstacle. Cooper and Lila were in the middle of the kitchen arguing fiercely.

“Uh... What's this about?” he asked casually, leaning against the doorframe. Both jumped and then turned to him talking over each other.

“Lila wants a princess themed gingerbread house and lots of pink and-”

“Cooper wants a stupid boys' house with lots of robots and stupid stuff like that!” Lila pouted.

“Apparently it's traditional for the family to make a gingerbread house the Sunday before Christmas and the two can't agree on what it should be,” Pietro spoke up from the table, amused.

“Huh... Why haven't you asked Pietro?” Tony suggested innocently. “It is his birthday after all... and I don't think he's ever made a gingerbread house before...” The kids immediately looked horrified and turned to Pietro. He gave Tony a dirty look for turning them on him. He'd been content just to watch the argument, waiting for Laura or Clint to step in. Tony just gave him a cheeky look before snatching a candy cane from the rather large supply of candies before searching for actual food to eat. The speedster rolled his eyes and turned to the kids.

“Why don't we do something big? Like Avengers Tower, then we can put some princess themed designs on it, and some robots...”

“Avengers? Yes!” Lila squealed, jumping up and down. Cooper considered then nodded.

“I like the idea...”

Tony leaned against the counter watching the three discuss ideas, with Lila drawing out what she wanted in her childish drawings (though admittedly good for her age). It was quite entertaining and he found himself forgetting what he was planning on doing after snacking on some food. And then Laura and Clint entered the room.

“Hey kids, ready to make a gingerbread house?” Clint grinned at them.

“Yes!” Lila exclaimed, then turned to Tony. “Uncle Tony, are you going to help?” she asked him turning wide innocent eyes on him. The genius sighed at the puppy dog eyes she had turned on him. Those were seriously a weapon the way the girl used them.

“Uh, sure, I guess... But you'll have to show me what to do.”

“You've never done this either?!” the girl sounded horrified. Tony looks to Clint who is trying not to laugh for help.

“Well uh... my father never really liked doing this sort of thing, and he thought I should help him with his stuff instead of hang out in the kitchen... and after I never had the chance...” Tony had found it easiest to go with a kid friendly version of the truth rather than try to hide it from them like he would the rest of the world. Especially since Laura was working on convincing him it was nothing to be ashamed off despite what the media would have everyone believe, and Clint had been helping with that crusade once he picked up on it without his wife telling him. The genius was dragged to stand next to Pietro with Lila on his other side while Cooper was next to Pietro. He barely noticed though because the parents of the kids were still setting stuff up, giving him free time to muse. 

It was kind of weird having Clint's wife be his therapist. Mostly because of the confidentiality stuff, since she couldn't (or rather wouldn't) tell Clint anything from those sessions, which really proved that he was right to trust her above other therapists (since quite a few probably could've been bribed to spill or been awed about him or some crap like that). But that also didn't stop her from dropping hints and quite frankly telling Clint when he was being an idiot without telling him why. Nor did it stop Clint from putting things together from body language and those hints. He also tended to ask about it rather than just assume and profile like Natasha did. Which was really nice.

“Alright, we just need to put on some Christmas music and we're good to go!” Clint announced while he started setting up the walls of the three story Avengers Mansion. The kids had been talked out of the tower since the mansion could be just as big just with less floors, which meant easier to build and decorate. Laura chuckled and turned on the music before they gathered around. 

Cooper enthusiastically told Pietro about the basics and then told him to just 'do what he wanted so long as it looked awesome' while Lila started bossing Tony around. The man just shrugged and did as she told him. It was kind of fun to be decorating the lawn with gumdrops and sprinkles. And frosting hearts and stars, too somehow. The things he did for the kids.

Pietro was humming along to the songs playing as he decorated the roof with a giant red and blue Avengers 'A' which Clint then had to outline in purple while childishly sticking out his tongue.

Tony snorted and planted some candy cane trees while one dangled from his mouth before glancing at what the others were doing. The speedster had moved onto decorating the roof with landing pads, one clearly for a quinjet, one for Iron Man, one for War Machine, and one for Falcon. They were decorated with ridiculously cartoonish symbols; a SHIELD eagle for the quinjet, a badly drawn chibi Iron Man mask and War Machine mask, and then just a pair of wings. Laura was decorating the outside of the house to look a bit realistic despite the decorations being frosting and candy. Cooper was making candy robots out of mini chocolate bars (all kinds, including white). While using anything else useful to make them look convincing. Clint had started to make a shooting range with targets in the 'backyard' along with some other things they had set up in the gym back at the Tower. Lila was giggling while she continued decorating the lawn with her abstract ideas. Tony smiled to himself before leaning over to grab some frosting to start on the driveway.

It was going well. There was the red and gold (aka darkish yellow that looked gold) 'A' he was rather proud of and then he started building cars out of some of the bigger pieces of candy, followed by a few motorcycles, until the driveway closest to the mansion was full. He paused then to take a good look. It looked really good, and really really delicious. He could see why the Bartons' did this every year but he didn't understand why he was included. The others paused too, and it looked like they were pretty much done with the design. Laura even took a few pictures.

And then Clint cackled and dumped some purple sugar sprinkles on the symbol on the driveway. Everyone stared at it for a moment.

“Hey!” Tony yelped in surprise. “You're going to regret that Kíli!” Pietro snickered; likely at the nickname. Tony then took some of the twizzlers and carefully broke them into pieces before scattering them around the targets to make it look like whoever had been doing that had terrible aim.

“Oh it's on Stark.” Clint smirked. He leaned across the table to make two of the cars crash into each other and break apart. Unfortunately, this destroyed one of the designs Lila had done on the front lawn.

“Hey Lila, want to help me get revenge on your dad for destroying your work?” the genius asked casually as he passed her the bowl of m&ms. She nodded solemnly, glowering (cutely) at her dad.

“I'd love to Uncle Tony.” She smiled sweetly at her dad before aiming the candies right at him, in the process some went all over the place.

And somehow it only escalated from there until everyone was involved in a candy fight. Until of course with impeccable timing, the baby started crying. Everyone froze mid-laugh when they heard him. Laura straightened and surveyed the damage. The mansion didn't actually look too bad off despite being a war zone, however everyone could be considered a mess since at one point all of them got frosting on them, as well as other candy.

“Tony, you get Nathaniel for now since you're the cleanest of us. We'll clean up and come rescue you as soon as we can. You'll be fine,” she added seeing his panicked attempt at a deer in the headlights look.

“Uh... right, sure... trust me with a baby... right...” Tony mumbled as he headed off to attempt to comfort the baby after wiping off his hands. He still, despite Nathaniel being five months, felt uneasy about being with a baby. And the fact that he was trusted.

“Well... that was fun...” Pietro commented after a moment but before anyone actually started moving to clean up. “Does that normally happen?”

“Last year dad destroyed my candy treehouse,” Cooper informed him. “I retaliated by dumping lots of frosting on his campfire.”

“So in other words, yes, some sort of war always happens,” Clint chuckled, barely refraining from ruffling his son's hair. He didn't want to get frosting in it. 

Tony returned a moment later with a slightly quieter Nathaniel who was looking up at him curiously despite his continued crying. The man was holding him so that he was facing out to the world, and no one would know that just a few months ago he knew nothing about babies or how to hold them. He was bouncing the baby lightly. 

“See? We're all here, just having some fun with candy that you will be able to do in a few years too, don't you worry. I'm sure you'll have fun and you have great older siblings to help you. Just watch out for your dad, he really likes to mess with what other people do,” Tony told the baby. “But we're all having fun, and that's what really matters, isn't it?”

Clint couldn't help but shake his head in amusement. No one would believe him if he told them about this, but he still snapped a picture to save anyways, even if he wasn't going to share with anyone. He quietly helped his wife get the kids cleaned up as well as Pietro. By the time they were done with that, the baby was totally calm and looking around at everyone and everything. He seemed particularly interested in the gingerbread Avengers mansion still on the table.

“So... what do you do with that now?” Tony asked curiously.

“Oh we move it to the dining room table we never use and slowly eat it over the next several weeks. I already got plenty of pictures, including some of the little fight before I joined in,” Laura explained as she started cleaning up the mess while Pietro and Clint lifted the whole thing carefully and moved it over to said table. Then they helped Laura continue to clean up, and Lila and Cooper joined in too, doing the smaller things like sorting the candy back out and putting that into containers and bags. All the while Tony continued holding and talking to the youngest Barton, not even realizing that he was doing so until Laura finally took him to feed him.

That was a good day for all of them, and the gingerbread house certainly made a delicious dessert, even if they only started with the rather delicious lawn and driveway.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christmas shenanigans continue, Tony gets everyone a great gift, and several good talks.

“Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock,” Pietro sang along with the radio as he danced around the house exuberantly. Laura and Clint had taken the kids out to do something, which he and Tony had declined. He wasn't sure why Tony had declined, but the teen personally didn't want to intrude on a clearly family outing. 

So he was enjoying the Christmas songs while he had time to himself. He hadn't heard the majority of them before but the Barton's had started listening to them as soon as the radio stations started playing Christmas songs, so he quickly picked up on the more popular ones, with the more obscure ones following later after he'd heard them enough. And, to his surprise, not only did he like most of the Christmas songs, he loved to sing along. At the top of his lungs when possible. But it did embarrass him a little, especially since he didn't think he was that good at singing so he tried not to do it in front of an audience often.

“Having fun kid?” Tony's question made him jump. Pietro spun at the sound, but tripped over his feet, yelping. The genius had been leaning against the door frame, amused, and crossing his arms casually. Now though he moved to help automatically though the teen didn't really need it.

“Uh... yeah...?” Pietro responded uncertainly once he'd regained his balance. “You?” Tony shrugged in response.

“I wanted to work on some designs today, I may be taking a vacation but some of the ideas weren't leaving me alone. Once I finished them I got bored and then I found you singing... So I guess yeah. I'm having fun. You have a decent voice by the way.”

“Uh, thank you...” The speedster replied awkwardly, cheeks turning pink at both the complement and getting caught at his new favorite hobby. Tony grinned as 'Winter Wonderland started playing. 

“Mind if I join you? Been a while since I let loose with something like this. At least not while sober,” he added thoughtfully. The other shrugged.

“Uh I guess...” he mumbled before starting to sing along to the song, quieter and more tentatively than he had been before the interruption. Tony on the other had no such anxieties and started belting out the lyrics as he picked up one of the kids' toys from the floor and then straightened out some of the Christmas decorations.

By the end of the song Pietro had regained his confidence and was belting out the lyrics as well, both beginning to dance rather than do any of the cleaning. They sang through other classics, tried not to cry while singing Christmas Shoes, and then didn't notice the doors opening in the middle of their overenthusiastic rendition of Frosty the Snowman. 

It wasn't until near the end of the song when they finally heard Lila giggling and Cooper trying not to laugh that they clued into their audience. Both of them froze and turned to see the kids as well as Clint and Laura. Clint was standing just behind Lila and Cooper, holding the baby with a smirk while Laura was next to him holding her phone up, clearly taking a picture or recording them as she smiled at them.

“Er... Hi. Welcome back,” Tony managed to speak first. While he was okay with letting loose it was a little bit disconcerting to find others had come in and watched while he was unaware. Pietro was as still as a statue, frozen in horror that they'd caught him singing like that.

“We skated! On ice!” Lila announced, bouncing up to them without doing more than taking off her boots. “It was fun! You should've come with,” she added with a pout.

“I'm glad you had fun, little flower,” Tony answered, taking off her hat to mess with her hair. “I had an idea that wouldn't leave me alone so I wanted to get it down before I forgot and didn't miss any other fun events.” She nodded, but continued pouting anyways, mostly because he was still messing with her hair.

“And I'm glad you both got some cleaning done,” Laura added, “it always seems to need to be done during the holidays. So thank you.” Pietro rubbed the back of his neck.

“Well, I would've done more if I hadn't gotten so into singing when Tony joined in...” he responded sheepishly.

“Still better than nothing. You had fun at least. And gave us a show to walk in on.” Clint grinned at them. He passed Nathaniel over to Pietro so that both he and his wife could get rid of their winter wear and help their kids out of theirs. Not that Cooper really needed the help at nine years old, and Tony was already helping Lila. The genius didn't even seem to notice what he was doing while Lila regaled him with exaggerated stories of their ice skating 'adventure.'

“Not as much fun as us,” Cooper told Pietro with cheeks as red as his sister's. “I love ice skating.” His coat was off now, and so was his boots, though he was having a little trouble with his snow pants. Clint moved to help him with that as soon as he could. Pietro smiled at the boy.

“Yeah, I'd like to try it sometime soon, I just didn't really want to today. It certainly sounds like a lot of fun, even with falling down.” He smirked, imagining what Tony might look like on his first try. He wasn't certain if the inventor had tried the sport before or not, but either way that first attempt had to be pretty funny.

“Well, snacks and then cleaning so we can finish up the decorations!” Laura announced once she hung up Lila's coat for Tony, seeing as Lila had now claimed his lap making it impossible for either of them to do so while she continued to recount what they'd done that day. The girl quickly jumped off, making Tony wince before he got up and followed at a much more sedate pace. 

He shook his head in amusement at how even Cooper, the more serious and reserved of the two was excited for food. He imagined they'd both worked up appetites after exercising so much. He did like their Christmas tradition regarding decorations. It had started because of how sporadically Clint could be around, as well as the trouble of having a baby. SHIELD did try to give him Christmas off (or rather Coulson did with the occasional help of Fury), but that also meant he wouldn't necessarily be around in the weeks leading up to it. So the family would get the boxes of decorations out the day after Thanksgiving but they would only put up a few each day, until they put up whatever was remaining on Christmas Eve.

Tony sipped at some hot chocolate while they ate snacks. He wasn't currently hungry, as he'd grabbed a bite to eat before joining Pietro in singing and dancing. Soon enough they were cleaning up the small mess eating had made. 

“Alright you two, pick up all your toys and put them in your rooms for now- and make sure you do so nicely we don't want your rooms to be mess- and we'll clean everything else up. They nodded, used to this routine after years of practice, though they would have to be more careful about what they did with their toys compared to the year before. Both had piles of toys in their rooms rather than putting them away properly and neither parent had been happy. They disappeared into the living room to start.

“So what does cleaning the house for Christmas entail anyways?” Tony asked, only to get smirks from the couple in reply. “...I'm going to regret this, aren't I?”

“I'm... going to go put up my stuff,” Pietro stated uneasily, glancing between them before darting away so fast he activated his super speed. Laura chuckled.

“You just dust every thing, be sure to use glass cleaner on the glass, and that will probably be all you need to do. Clint and I will do everything else... which is primarily cleaning the floor.”

“Yeah, you can tell we've done this before,” Clint sighed, “but it's always worth it.” Laura kissed his cheek as she moved to collect their cleaning supplies. 

Then they got to work. It was silent aside from the Christmas music playing on the radio while they diligently cleaned the surfaces of the rooms in the house as quickly as they could. Tony was surprisingly good at wiping things down and dusting them. Finally Clint looked up, looking for some levity and a mental break. They were nearly done anyways, while the kids were hiding, Pietro probably was too, and the baby was napping.

“Who'd have guessed that the great Tony Stark would help out with cleaning, not complained, and actually be rather good at it,” the archer teased. “Imagine everyone's faces if they knew...” He snickered. Tony rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, yeah.” He waved a hand holding a duster dismissively. “For a while I actually did a lot of my own cleaning. I didn't want to risk hiring someone who might want to gossip or even be bribed into spilling secrets regardless of any airtight contracts I could make them sign.” Clint winced at the idea.

“Good idea... though I'm surprised you ever had time to clean when you rarely ever emerge from your labs, and some of the team would have me believe you don't do anything if you can get away with it... I don't think Steve realizes how difficult designing and making the things you do is, seeing as he believes you're lazy...” Clint trailed off, shaking his head at how oblivious Steve and some other people could be in order to be able to uphold their beliefs about certain things. Tony sighed and then shrugged.

“Well, Rhodey does tease me about it, and often helped me out when he had time off, but he'd never bring it up around other people 'cause it's my 'secret', he doesn't trust them outside of the field right now, and there probably hasn't been a reason to. Pepper never caught me at it, though she did catch Rhodey once, now that was hilarious... well aside from her in the face scolding,” Tony chuckled, missing the looks Clint and Laura exchanged. 

Since Tony had opened up about some things in front of Clint, that meant not everything was covered under confidentiality, and Clint had plenty of observations about how Tony was treated. They discussed it a lot at night, wondering if there was any way besides supporting Tony to help him with that.

“Anyways, Pepper assumed that I had hired help to do that and any time it got really bad, they must've quit or I must've fired them. Bruce knew I can clean and stuff but that's mostly because he's seen me clean up my messes and knows how thorough I can be, it doesn't take much from there to realize I actually do clean up after myself. And while I might have a problem with leaving messes to come back to, which I usually plan to but get caught up with other stuff, so other people would do it and complain to me.” Tony rolled his eyes. “Not like I told them to clean it and half the time they do it mere hours before I arrive to clean it up. And I do clean my room once a week, more than that if necessary. I'm a busy genius though, so anything more than necessary isn't something I'm going to do outside of the set days, though sometimes scheduling or inventing sprees interrupt it. Not that anyone ever cared about that,” Tony added casually, then shook his head as he finished dusting the display of nice plates. He had gotten so used to spilling secrets he did so without really thinking about it, sometimes even rambling more than usual. 

“Somehow that doesn't surprise me. It makes me glad you're not trying to spend Christmas with them this year,” Laura informed him bluntly.

“Yeah, me too. You don't deserve their scorn. Wish I'd noticed sooner honestly,” Clint added, sighing. Tony shrugged.

“Yeah, I wish such things as well, but it's all in the past. No use dwelling on it. Now I'm done with my part in all the cleaning, what's next?” He almost dropped the duster onto a table but thought better of it and moved to put it away.

“Now, we decorate,” Laura grinned at him as she helped him put everything away while Clint went to collect the kids.

Despite how much they had participated in other Christmas traditions so far, Tony and Pietro exchanged a single, identical look of uncertainty, as neither wanted to intrude on another family's Christmas traditions. Both of course tended to forget that they were not out of the place in the home, with Pietro being something of an older brother to Lila and Cooper and Tony being their uncle. 

Of course it didn't take long for them to be swept up in the organized chaos, helping put up some lights, or ornament, or taking turns holding baby Nathaniel so others could decorate. And of course, during this, they chattered and danced, having lots of fun. And there was lots of unabashed singing to accompany the giddiness of putting up the last of the decorations. Nathaniel at the end was clapping his little baby hands and giggling at their antics, quite happy. Until suddenly he wasn't. 

“Oh come on, my singing isn't that terrible,” Tony told him, being sure to keep his voice soothing as he started bouncing the baby in response to his distress. The baby, unfortunately was inconsolable, but practice had made it so that Tony no longer panicked the moment the baby started crying. He frowned. “Is he hungry? I don't think he's in need of a change...” Laura sighed, putting up the last of the little elves that were scattered about every room.

“I believe he is... I was hoping we'd be done by the time he got hungry.”

“Don't you worry dear, there's not much left, the kids just need to finish with the Nativity scene, and Tony and I will put away the boxes. All that's left is dinner, and making sure Lila and Cooper get in naps before Midnight Mass,” Clint responded calmly, walking over to drop a kiss on her cheek before turning to pick up a box. 

Laura regarded the scene for a moment. Tony was staring at Clint in confusion, mouthing 'Midnight Mass' to himself. Lila and Cooper were on the floor with boxes and tissue paper strewn around them, animatedly explaining the significance of each of the miscellaneous figures they were putting up in the stable and surrounding stable to Pietro, who was laying on his stomach and listening while idly adjusting some of the figures already placed. The mother nodded.

“Alright, if you're sure you have this under control...” She returned the kiss and left the room to take care of the still upset, but calmer, baby.

Tony was uncharacteristically silent as he followed Clint to the attic with an empty box. It took a few trips before Clint finally got tired of it and turned to face him once they reached the attic once again.

“Alright, what's eating you?” he questioned, exasperated. 

“What? Nothing,” Tony replied quickly and defensively. The archer raised an eyebrow.

“You're one of my closest friends, I can tell something's bothering you now spill,” Clint ordered. Tony spluttered for a moment, a bit surprised when before Rhodey was the only one who bothered to notice every single time. He still wasn't used to being this close to Clint.

“Fine... It's not that big a deal, I was just wondering why you're going to a Midnight Mass of all things and why there's a Nativity scene in the living room now... and I really don't want to have to explain my... beliefs to the kids if they ask.” 

“Then just go to Midnight Mass. They won't notice if you do.” Clint sighed. “As for why we go to Midnight Mass... Laura and I... we're vaguely religious. She is more than I. I grew up in a bad situation, as you know, so I didn't get much by way of a religious education when I was younger, and up until I met Laura I spent most of my life alternately hating God and religion for giving me hope and not protecting me, or taking refuge in the idea of what Christianity stands for. It was a weird paradox, I know. I lived it,” he added wryly before Tony could comment. He sat down.

“Laura came from a fairly religious household, not strict, especially not in the way most think of religious people. She goes to Mass more than I do. She's not as strong a believer in organized religion as when she was younger, but the familiarity of it all soothes her. I enjoy the holiday Mass' we attend, and we want the kids to be able to make an educated choice when they're older. They certainly seem okay with it now.” Clint smirked. “Besides, neither of them is going to miss an excuse to be up at midnight.” Tony chuckled.

“Okay, yeah I can see that. And I'm not that bothered really.” Clint gave him an incredulous look. “Okay okay, I don't come off as the understanding type, but I am. You have your beliefs. Atheists have theirs, so do Muslims, Jews and those crazy religious nuts that are out there. I'm not about to spit on that, even if some take it too far. After all, not many accept my own habits when it comes to well anything I do, let alone attempt to understand it. I'm not about to treat others that way.” He smiled in amusement. “Besides, I'm not an atheist. Maybe a bit of an agnostic, though,” he mused thoughtfully.

“Why would you say that?” Clint queried curiously, leaning forward.

“Oh, the best description of agnostic beliefs I've ever heard is that when it comes to God it's 'I don't know and I don't care.' Sometimes I veer towards that line of thought, but mostly I like to believe that there is something like God watching over us, sometimes performing miracles, sometimes staying out of things, and sometimes being angry and causing stupid things like the Inquisition. It proves that not even God is perfect then. And I do find the teachings fascinating, since at the core of the beliefs, they are what the liberals love to preach, well, once you take everything out pertaining to God and Jesus, and such,” he waved a hand dismissively, “but it's very similar and quite fascinating. I haven't been to a Mass in a long time. Mom used to bring me when I was little, sometimes. She liked it. Howard didn't approve, since he believed in science only, but I always wonder how the science started, is everything that makes life, life, just chance, or is something manipulating the odds? Anyways... The last time I went to a Mass before their funeral would've been... Oh, the last Christmas before I was shipped off to boarding school. It was also a Midnight Mass...” he added wistfully.

“Ah, so it brings back memories, and you're not sure you want to face them, are you?” 

“...You take too many lessons from your wife.”

“Yeah. I didn't have much of a choice there, really.”

“Unless you divorced her or didn't marry her in the first place.” Tony ducked a hand swinging half heartedly in his direction. Then he remembered something he had thought of just the day previous and smirked at Clint before starting his train of thought.

“Say, I just remembered... I had an idea for an additional gift to the ones I've already bought but I wanted your opinion on it, Laura's too but she's a bit busy right now...”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Once Tony was done explaining his idea to the parents and got their approval, he took a shower. Then he checked his hair, as he'd bleached his hair blond for the time being. So long as he did something (probably ridiculous) with it upon returning to the rest of the world, no one would make the connection between the man hanging out in a small town in Iowa with Tony Stark. He quickly put on a dark green dress shirt and a red tie decorated with Christmas trees. He also wore black dress pants to complete the outfit. He checked the mirror and nodded in approval despite being clean shaven before he headed down the stairs to say good bye before going to pick up the gifts for the kids and hiding them away before getting to Midnight Mass. Laura made sure to give him something to take along with for dinner as he walked out the door.

Later that night, at 11:30 to be precise, Tony met up with the family at the church building. He adjusted his tie, a little anxious as this would be the first time attending a Mass since his parents died (and then only because his mother was Catholic, his father wouldn't have cared).

“Uncle Tony you did come!” Lila squealed wrapping her arms around him. He winced at the tone but wrapped his arms around her automatically. Clearly she hadn't believed her parents that he was coming to Mass after all.

“I just had something to do, little flower,” he grinned down at her as they turned to enter the church. He resisted the urge to ruffle her hair this time simply because she was dressed up and neither she nor her mother would approve if her nicely done hair was messed up. Clint entered first with Cooper by his side while he carried Nathaniel. Laura followed holding onto Lila's hand once again. Tony glanced over at Pietro and sighed. The teen was fidgeting and looking around a bit anxiously. The genius raised an eyebrow at him and pulled him to the side, out of the way of the doors so other people could get in.

“Sorry... It's just... I've never been inside a church before, let alone to a Mass...” the speedster mumbled after a moment. The older man nodded in understanding to the unspoken words that that meant the kid had no idea what he should do.

“Ah, don't worry. Just follow what everyone else does. And don't take Communion. That's only for Catholics.” Tony grimaced. “And Mom was one so I know all about that. Technically I can, since she did get me through the sacrament despite my father's protests... just not Confirmation.” He shrugged. The silver-haired teen gave him a wide eyed look.

“Really?” his voice was full of incredulity, not that Tony blamed him

“Yep. Like to keep it under wraps though. I can explain more about it later, if you'd like,” he offered. “But for now, all you have to do is sit mostly still, be quiet, and mimic those around you. If you have to fidget, do it in a way that won't annoy those around you, and never take out an electronic device because that's plain rude and a line I don't even cross. Oh, and maybe listen. The homily tends to be the most interesting part because it's the priest's interpretation on the lessons the readings are meant to convey. Some can be boring, but a lot of priests can make it entertaining too, and rather thought provoking,” Tony added as they finally began moving again. Pietro stopped briefly occasionally, feeling overwhelmed despite his curiosity as he looked around and took in the atmosphere. 

The choir was singing some Christmas songs as they waited for Mass to start, which made Pietro smile. Tony followed the teen into the pew where the Barton family had already sat down. The baby was still asleep (somehow) but his two siblings were barely sitting still as they looked around and listened to the choir.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tony and Pietro walked to Tony's car so that there wouldn't be so many people in the Barton's car this time. 

“So what did you think?” Tony queried as he unlocked his car.

“It was certainly interesting... The music was great,” Pietro added with a grin as he got in. The genius started the car and soon they were on their way.

“Yep. Mom always loved the music. It's one of the reasons she played piano, actually.”

“The whole 'Body of Christ' thing was weird though... do people actually believe that?”

“Well, depends on who you ask for one. I'd stay away from Fundamentalists; they take everything literally. As in, everything in the Bible happened exactly as it says in the Bible whereas most Christians don't. For example, Fundamentalists would teach that evolution was false due to the Creation story, while other Christians would be okay with any scientific theory, since they believe that God had a hand in it, and the Creation story was just that; one idea of how he might've done that,” Tony explained. “You with me so far?” The teen nodded.

“Excellent. Now the difficult part to grasp for Christians, particularly Catholics-they're the ones who follow the Pope by the way- is the idea that faith is everything. That you don't need to see to believe, that no proof is necessary. By that faith, and the blessing the priest does at Mass, the bread and wine become more than just symbols of the body and blood. It's really confusing, but that's the gist of it. I don't even really get it that much. I'm not much of a man of faith. I'm a man of logic and doing.”

“I can see why people would do it though... it really would help to have faith and prayer...” Pietro mused. “I wonder if things would've gone differently if Wanda and I had that?” 

“Maybe, maybe not. It might've given you a different set of values... It's kind of funny that most religions tell you how to be a better person, yet the people fail to follow those teachings. But yeah, things could've gone differently, but maybe they wouldn't have. Who knows?”

“Yeah...” Pietro sighed. “But there isn't any use wondering now, since it's happened. I guess I just want to think that with different circumstances that not only I would be different, but Wanda is too... I want to believe that it was our circumstances that shaped her... issues, not who she actually is...” Tony nodded.

“I understand. Regardless of everything, she's still your sister, and you still love her, right?” the genius asked softly. Pietro nodded before taking a deep breath and revealing what he had yet to tell anyone up to that moment. 

“That's about it... It's actually part of the reason I don't want her to know I'm alive yet... I'm afraid of how she'll react. Not to me, but everyone who knew. She'll probably blame you and hate you more, but it's not your fault at all, and I wouldn't be able to handle her treating you that way. She's always had issues believing she's not the center of the universe, and the idea that I'd be defending you... that would be hard for her, and I'm not sure how she'd react... maybe blame you more...? Either way, there's a decent chance that if what you say is true about her actions and beliefs, and with how the Avengers have been treating her, I would basically end up choosing to side with you and be unable to handle how she is, and I'd rather it stay like this, than have to face that.” Tony winced, but didn't answer as he turned off the car. They'd returned to the farm already. Then he sighed.

“I'm sorry kid...” he commented, feeling a bit guilty.

“It's alright. It's not really your fault. She's old enough to make her own decisions on who to blame, and the Avenger seem to think she's old enough for everything. It wouldn't be your fault.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Christmas morning started off with Lila and Cooper tearing through their small stocking stuffers and checking out what candy was in there as well. Pietro followed, a little surprised to see his favorite candy in there. There was also a pair of silly Christmas socks, along with a few pocket puzzle books.

“Awesome!” Tony exclaimed suddenly. Everyone looked up in time to see him put on his socks- bright green with Santa hats. Clint shook his head but did the same with his, which were white with all nine reindeer on them. Soon everyone including the baby were wearing their own ridiculous socks. After checking out the rest of the stocking stuffers, it was time to eat breakfast- in the form of delicious cinnamon rolls and quiche. 

Then they returned to the living room to open their presents, having a great time with it. Tony was surprised by his presents-a blanket from Lila (who'd picked it out herself; it had a character from My Little Pony on it), a few new coffee mugs from Cooper (each with a different funny saying on it), and then some pictures of him and the kids, as well as Pietro, from Clint and Laura. Pietro had gotten him some puzzle books and even a few puzzles, after noticing that Tony enjoyed doing them, and realized he probably didn't get such gifts often. 

Tony had gotten each of them science themed gifts, at the appropriate age levels of course, as well as some useful things for each of them. Pietro had gotten new clothes for running in, that could handle his speed. Laura a few kitchen gadgets (not modified by Tony), Clint some things for the farm as well as some new targets he could set up (since he still practiced archery, but more as a hobby than anything), Cooper received some science workbooks (to go with his science gift- that of a basic robot making kit), and Lila had received some coloring books as well as new colored pencils, a sketchbook, and some paints. And Nathaniel had gotten some Avengers themed baby toys, which made Clint, Laura, and Pietro laugh.

Clint and Laura led the kids in picking up the mess while the baby napped. And Tony slipped out the door without being noticed except by the parents who were just as eager to see how the kids would react to his final gift. He came back a few minutes later with a closed box, just as they put the last pieces of wrapping paper up.

“I have one more gift for all of you,” Tony announced as he put the box down on the couch carefully. It wasn't wrapped, and he didn't even have it closed. Lila ventured to peek inside first. She climbed onto the couch and looked into the box... and squealed.

“Kitties!” She stared down at them with a bright grin. Cooper hurried over to get a look as well.

“Yep. It's a mom cat, and five kittens. The kittens are five weeks old. I was only able to get them for you since the family is staying together.”

“'cause they're too young to be away from their mom?” Cooper asked curiously. Tony nodded.

“Yep, that's right.” He reached in and picked up one of the kittens carefully. “There's a cat for everyone, even Nathaniel.” This kitten he handed to Lila before handing one to Cooper. Then he gave a kitten to Pietro and let Laura and Clint take one each while the mother cat jumped out of the box and eyed them warily before deeming them not a threat and started washing herself on the back of the couch.

“But you don't get one?” Lila questioned sadly. “Why not?” He blinked, taken aback by the innocent question.

“Well... there's only enough for you guys, and I don't really need a kitten...”

“Yes you do!” Lila pouted as she pet the kitten she was holding. It wasn't too fond of the way she was holding it and almost clawed her with its tiny needle pricks before Tony corrected her grip. 

“Yeah! Mom and dad can share the mother cat!” Cooper added helpfully. “Or everyone but Nathaniel gets one but he can have one when he's older!”

“Yeah! I like that idea!” Lila agreed, sitting down to tease the kitten with a bit of ribbon that had gotten missed during the clean up.

“I see no problem with that, though that means Tony will have to visit his kitten for a while before he can take it home...” Laura answered them, with a small smile on her face as she glanced at the completely stunned look on his face.

“Why don't we play with them and then we can name them and you can decide which ones are yours?” Clint suggested as he sat down and let the kitten he was holding explore. Tony gaped at him. That was not part of the plan.

“It's no use arguing,” Pietro advised with a smirk as he joined in. Soon there were five kittens and a grown cat exploring the living room while everyone (but the sleeping baby) watched.

By the time it was time to make dinner, they all had names. The gray tabby mother cat was named Celestia (Tia for short). The orange tabby that fell asleep on Tony's knee was Applejack (AJ for short). The light gray tabby with blue eyes that Lila was playing with was Rainbow Dash (Dash for short), while the dark orange tabby that was playing with Cooper and a ribbon was Big Mac. Pietro was watching the curious orange tabby explore and had decided his name would be Sunburst. The final kitten was a gray tabby named Discord, and he seemed particularly fond of attacking his siblings and mother.

“Alright whoever isn't helping with dinner can help me set the cat stuff up,” Tony announced after moving AJ to the couch, getting a cute, irritated look from the kitten for disturbing her nap.

After setting up the litter box, food and water dishes, two cat climbing trees, two cat beds, and scattering some cat toys, dinner was finally ready. Everyone kept finding themselves distracted by the antics of the kittens as they explored until Celestia finally corralled them to go to sleep in one of the new cat beds.

“When are you leaving Uncle Tony?” Cooper asked as he tore his eyes away from the cats to focus on his food. Tony sighed.

“Two days, unfortunately. And while I'd love to be back for New Years, I have a New Years Eve party I'm obligated to go to for the Maria Stark Foundation, and my friend's Rhodey's mom was upset I skipped out on Christmas this year so New Years day will be spent with him.”

“Rhodey is War Machine, right?” 

“Yep, that's my best friend.” He caught the half pout of disappointment on Clint's face that was meant to be a joke. He rolled his eyes. “Okay my first best friend. You father is my second.” 

“Cool! I wanna meet him.”

“Maybe some day. If your parents are okay with it.” Both kids sighed in disappointment.

“Does he know where you go?” Clint queried curiously.

“He knows it has something to do with you, as well as my therapist but that's all he knows, and so long as I stay happy he's fine with it though I know he wishes to check it out himself just to be sure. He gets protective like that. I don't think having to listen to Wanda talk about my bad traits at the compound when he's there helps,” he added.

“What reason does she have to even bring it up?” Pietro questioned, frowning. Tony sighed.

“I made the War Machine armor so just seeing it triggers her anger, and usually her powers, and so he rarely even gets to work with the team on formations and such because of that. Even outside the suit, he can't talk about me without setting her off, and she doesn't even know we're good friends, and we're trying to keep it that way. It's better to have a good friend on the team so I can keep an eye on things than not, but it's starting to get to the point that Rhodey is not happy with the idea of me visiting there without him near because of the things Wanda's said.” He didn't elaborate, but Laura, Clint, and Pietro could guess. He just didn't want the two kids to hear that she (still) wanted him dead (well usually more so when she's angry than normally to be fair, but it still wasn't something they should hear). “The weird thing in all of this is that she's close to Vision, who is technically my 'creation'.”

“Ah, but he proved himself by lifting Thor's hammer,” Pietro pointed out sarcastically.

“And don't forget he carried her away from the battlefield either,” Clint put in, rolling his eyes.

“So irrational girl crush. Got it.” Tony turned to the kids who were listening with wide eyes. “If you ever get a crush, make sure to keep your head and be rational and logical about it, okay?” They nodded, though both looked vaguely disgusted by the idea.

“When'll you be back then?” Lila looked up at him when it was clear the conversation had died off. Tony sighed.

“I don't know little flower. Maybe late January, if I can stay on top of things...”

“Oh.” She considered that a moment then had to ask another question, “when will Pietro be going home with you?” Both the genius and the teen choked on their food at the innocent question. Clint nearly spit out his milk as he tried not to laugh while Laura just gave them an amused smile that said she knew exactly where this was going.

“Uh, why do you ask that?” Tony managed to get out once he recovered enough. Cooper was watching with interest, but was content to let his sister ask questions since he was the one who preferred to listen and only ask questions if he thought of them and Lila didn't ask them. The girl gave him a frustrated look.

“Well you're his daddy right?”

This time the genius choked on air. The teen meanwhile was doing an impression of a fish. Clint's attempts to not laugh turned into wheezing as he tried to contain his mirth. Even Laura was giggling quietly. This time it was Pietro who recovered first.

“Uh... my dad is dead... So's my mom...”

“That doesn't mean Uncle Tony can't be your dad too!” the girl protested. Cooper decided to speak up.

“You both act like that's the case even if you don't call him dad, like Kevin's older brother and his dad.”

“Uh...” Tony was speechless by that observation. “What about your parents?”

“More like his aunt and uncle,” Cooper countered.

“Right...” A silence fell over the table while both Tony and Pietro tried to process what the two kids had claimed. Thankfully despite their amusement, Clint and Laura soon directed their attention to what they wanted to do with all their presents and the responsibilities the cats would bring, that they'd be expected to help with at least. Soon enough they finished dinner, and dessert and started cleaning up.

“Hey Tony why don't you help Pietro get his stuff to his room?” 

“Sure, why not,” Tony sighed, glad to get a chance to talk to Pietro, but at the same time not certain of what to say. Him a dad? Yeah, right. 

It took them until they had everything up in his room for either of them to say anything.

“So uh, kid what do you think of what Lila and Cooper said?” Tony enquired awkwardly, but tried not to act like he cared what the answer would be.

Pietro shrugged as he closed the door (so that it was clear this was private) and then sat down on his bed.

“I don't know... I don't want to replace my dad, but you have been filling the role more than Clint has I suppose...” He leaned back sighing. “Which is kind of weird, not going to lie, I never would've expected it.”

“Neither did I...” Tony sighed, sitting in the desk chair. “I didn't go into this wanting to do that, I just wanted to give you a chance at life you didn't have before. I didn't think I was father material. My own father... he was horrible, borderline abusive by today's standards. Well, borderline on the physical abuse; I can't say he never hit me but it was never hard or often. Emotionally though... he was hard on me, but he was also neglectful. I know I'm not the best person to be around, and with that as an example, I never thought I could be a good father. In fact, what I've been doing is asking what Jarvis would do.”

“JARVIS? Your old AI?”

“No, the man my AI was named after,” Tony corrected, smiling slightly. “Edwin Jarvis was the butler I had growing up, and he was always there for me. I miss him more than my own father... And it was his example I wanted to follow. I just didn't realize how much of a father to me he was.”

“Oh... Do you regret it?” Tony didn't ask if he meant his actions or not realizing what Jarvis really was to him.

“Not at all. I... kind of like it now.”

“Me too.”

“Um, when you're ready for the world to know you're alive, and if you're still under 18...” Tony started hesitantly before taking a deep breath as the teen looked at him curiously, “would you want me to officially adopt you?” The teen sat up straight and stared at him, shocked.

“I... I don't...”

“I understand. I mean who would want me to adopt them. I'm not a good role model and I always mess things up, you know the only person that's fully stood by me before the Barton's was Rhodey? Even Pepper nags about my choices and I totally get why people wouldn't want me to do parenting and stuff and what was I thinking?” Tony rambled.

“Uh, Tony, I was just saying I don't know how to respond to that yet...” Pietro interrupted, wide eyed. He was surprised that Tony immediately jumped to the wrong conclusion. Then again if Rhodey really was the only person to always be on his side in the recent years before the Bartons, then it wasn't really surprising.

“You're... actually considering it?”

“Yeah, I am. I love Clint and Laura but they already have three kids, and I know you're helping them out, so I don't know what impact me being here would be for them... and it'd be kind of weird having a mother figure as my therapist too, so I really haven't been thinking of them as parental figures... And now that I think about it, I know I've been putting you in that place.”

“Oh? How do you figure?”

“I simply imagined how I would've viewed and acted around my dad if he were still alive... and everything so far, it's pretty close.” Pietro closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “So I think that yes, I'd like it if you did adopt me...” He smiled at Tony who couldn't help but grin.

“You know I wouldn't mind if you continued to call me Tony, even if I am going to take the role of your father officially.”

“Eh, for now sure, but I think it'll get weird after a while...” Pietro made a face. “But at the same time I'm not sure I want to call another man 'dad'.”

“Totally understandable. Maybe we can find a version in another language you'll like.” 

“Works for me,” the teen nodded, grinning. Tony sat up suddenly.

“And now I need to work out modifying the tower so you can stay there, probably in the penthouse til you're older, what would you want?”

“Uh... I don't know. I never had the money to know what I wanted and I've been content with this... can we work on it another day?”

“Works for me,” Tony agreed easily, getting up to join him on the much more comfortable bed. “I'll get a general floor plan and suggestions together for you. So what do you want to do with your life now? What would you want to do without being an Avenger?”

“I don't know really... I want to keep studying, at least til I've gotten a college degree.” He grimaced. “In what I don't know, maybe math. I like math. It's like doing lots of puzzles with actually productive results. Without being an Avenger...” He sighed and leaned back, looking at the ceiling. “I think I'd love to try acting and theater and music... especially music...” Tony leaned back as well, grinning.

“Well that's not a bad start at least. Math is a good subject, and also means once you're advanced enough you could probably help me out sometimes with calculations. I have to do a lot of those. As for music and theater... I have a few ideas. Getting into theater is notoriously difficult so I'd say just stick to workshops once you're ready for that. But even so, the idea I have for music works for that too... Start a YouTube channel, cover songs, maybe write your own. Do skits and reviews. Have fun with it. Maybe you'll even get YouTube famous without anyone knowing your real identity. You might want to check out basic courses on video and sound editing first though.” Pietro sat up and looked at him thoughtfully.

“You know what... that's a great idea.” He grinned. “I hope my adoptive father would be willing to star in some videos...”

“So long as I can have some sort of ridiculous hairstyle, I can go for it,” Tony told him, grinning.

“Thanks... for everything,” Pietro said softly before giving him a quick, unsure hug. It was the first time of physical shows of affection between the two of them. Tony froze up a little but then relaxed and messed up Pietro's hair to his protests.

“No problem kid.” The genius couldn't help but feel happy as they walked out to join the Bartons'. He had a son. A son who wanted him, and didn't think he would mess up. It was the best feeling in the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> About the whole Catholic thing- I'm Catholic, that's what I know best. I honestly had not gone in planning on making any character Christian, least of all Tony. But it happened and I think it turned out well. What do you think? Hope you like the last scene with Tony and Pietro. More on that next chapter, obviously.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed it, I have a rough idea of where to go to next. Believe it or not, this was not what I was going for when I started writing it, I had a totally different idea in mind which is probably going to be in chapter 3 or 4 now. But instead, this happened, and I'm quite happy with it.


End file.
